On the Flip

I always take the time during the first month of the new year to reflect on the previous year. I try to think of things I could have handled better, goals I wish I accomplished, places I went, people I met, and everything in between. 

This month was especially hard for me though, my 2019 was not what I expected it to be. At all. I think that’s a defect we all have, new year’s rolls around and we think the upcoming year is going to be magical; filled with only butterflies, rainbows, and new beginnings. 

However, most of the time this is not the case. I know they have a saying that goes something like, ‘you get wiser every year’, and I agree with that statement whole-heartedly; but they don’t tell you that a lot of the new found wisdom comes from hurt. This year I went through a breakup, lost my closest friend to a relationship, became financially independent, started having mental health challenges, started working about 30 hour weeks, all on top of being a student. 

One major thing I learned this year is that on all of that ‘stuff’ there is this crazy thing called a flip. On the flip side of things, that’s a more common expression. That’s what I had to really learn about in 2019, it was very hard to stay optimistic when things were so tough but, I had the flip. I had more points that were low in 2019 than high I would say, but I also learned a lot about staying optimistic and using the flip to my advantage. 

So, in 2019, I got to be single, I found an even better boyfriend (hi Kellan!), I learned that I don’t deserve one sided friendships, I learned how to budget, I learned that real friends don’t choose boys over their friendships, I made lots of money, I got to meet lots of new people, and most importantly I made it to 2020. Despite everything, I made it into the year 2020. Last semester was particularly the worst of 2019. I feel into a really bad spell of sadness, I had applied to over 100 internships hearing nothing back, I had gained weight, I didn’t have my best friend anymore, and my relationship wasn’t doing too well. 

This was most likely the lowest point in my entire life. I contemplated what life would be like if there really wasn’t another, more positive side to the scenario. Through time I have learned no matter how hard it may seem to just try your best to look on the positive side. I know, sounds so cliché, but I noticed significant improvement when I started doing this, and stopped beating myself up over every little thing. 

This 2020 I encourage you to actually pick a goal and try to follow it, see the positive, get to know yourself a little better, and most importantly know that things really do get better .. you just have to find that ‘flip’.

• Adulthood
• memoir
• mental health
• New Year
• new year new me