Valentine’s Day is dead. That’s right people, I said it. Some people spend it eating heart-shaped candy, sniffing flowers, and ordering tiny, expensive dinners. But then there’s the rest of us, who didn’t get so lucky this time around. We’re the singles.
I italicize it because people usually refer to the word “single” in a derogatory tone. Like when I go home for Thanksgiving and my grandma asks me if I have a boyfriend yet, then my sister interrupts, “No Grandma, she’s sinnggglee.” Well I’m sorry to break it to everyone, but yes, I’m single. And here’s something even crazier… I love it!
The statistics clearly show that most people spend their Valentine’s Day alone. They try to make it feel like any other day or go out with their friends instead. Ultimately, the majority of people end up feeling lonely no matter how they try to distract themselves. Of course they can’t help feeling that way, because love is being flaunted in their faces all day long. But it is time to take back the day for ourselves. V-Day is supposed to be about love, so the person I’m choosing to love is myself.
I don’t know about you, but I want to get spoiled on Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing wrong with spoiling yourself occasionally. So I have officially dubbed Valentine’s Day as Treat-Yo-Self Day (all my Parks and Recs fans holla). Treat-Yo-Self Day is about doing everything you can to show yourself love and make yourself happy. This is the day to reward yourself for being a girl boss, because you deserve to come first.
You deserve to order yourself Uber Eats breakfast in bed. You deserve to get your nails done and take a bright pink bubble bath with a bath bomb. You deserve to let yourself have an extra scoop of ice cream before bed and that extra glass of wine with it. This is the day you should let yourself splurge and relax, because (I’m saying it again) you deserve it.
Not only does Treat-Yo-Self Day include bath bombs and desserts, but it also teaches you to think about yourself in a more positive light. Compare it to a boyfriend giving you a compliment or saying something sweet to you: It makes you feel great and it boosts your confidence. You need to do that for yourself, too. Tell yourself how beautiful and inspiring you are. Tell yourself that you deserve the best. And most of all, tell yourself that you are an empowered woman.
Just like how in a relationship, you get both words of affirmation and physical love, you also need to do that for yourself. Loving yourself isn’t just about how you feel on the outside, it also matters on the inside. To feel good in the outside world, you must first have your heart rooted in positivity. This is where you will truly learn how to love yourself.
Oprah once said, “[Knowing yourself] is the thread that runs through everything, It’s the thing that allows you to stand in your own truth. One of the things for years that Maya Angelou used to say to me is ‘Baby, you need to know that you alone are enough. You alone are enough.’” I love this quote because it really tells it all. You need to know yourself to be able to love yourself. Just the same way you have to get to know a guy before you fall in love with him.
Give yourself the time to reflect and learn who you are. Take the day to learn how to love yourself, because I know the romance is there, ladies. I know you have it in you to find that self-importance. That is how you will have a good Valentine’s Day… and that is also how you have a good life. So go now, my girl-bosses… treat yo-selves!