I’m the girl that didn’t leave an abusive relationship until the last possible second. At first, the controlling was easy to handle and I didn’t think it was that bad. But it only got worse. My family and friends all saw it before I did. They told me he was manipulating me and that it would only get worse. But he loves me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, right? WRONG!
The first time he ever hit me was because I didn’t let him see my phone. That was only a smack on the chest. I only say a smack because so much worse happened after that. I was dragged across the floor and shoved into a wall. He tried to kill me more than once.
I changed the person I was to someone I didn’t recognize. To someone I never wanted to become. I didn’t hang out with my friends anymore, I isolated myself, didn’t talk to anyone, and worse I disobeyed my parents. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends unless he was there. He made me feel guilty for being with my family. When I would be at home hanging out with my family, he would get mad and would make me invite him over just to hang out with the family. I reached a really low point in my life. There were times I compilated hurting myself.
I realized I needed out when he choked me so bad that if he didn’t let go when he did, I wouldn’t be here today. You may say “why the hell didn’t you leave him?”. When you’re really in that position, it’s hard to leave. They manipulate you to think that you deserved it and that it was your fault it happened. But I finally woke up and realized I couldn’t live that way anymore.
I finally reached out for help. I went to therapy for months. It took a little over five months in therapy to get back to who I used to be. I became someone I recognized and loved again. I was finally free and most importantly alive.