The amount of emotions that I have daily, because of you, is almost too much for me to handle. Why can’t I just forget about you and move on? Because you are you. Only you will know what that means, too. You are one of the best people I’ve ever came across in my short lifetime. But you’re also one of the worst. Kind of like the best of both worlds, yet my world has felt like it’s been crumbling down around me for quite a while; because of you.
You may not notice this, but I try my absolute hardest for you. Some of my daily routine choices, reflect on you and you don’t even know it. Sad? Maybe. But what does a girl do when she’s head over heels for you, and is hoping you’ll notice even the slightest change in her. On days I have class with you, I make sure I don’t dress like a complete bum. I curl my hair and spend an extra 20 minutes on my makeup, so you glance over at me.
My friends never hear the end of this never-dying situation. When was the last time we talked, what was said, and how it made me feel. Sounds a lot like a therapy session, doesn’t it? Because at this point it basically is. I have put every emotion I have in me, times 50, just to hang onto the idea of you. Even after all of this hurt, I stick up in the hopes that you will come back, hold my hand and say I missed you too. But why isn’t it that simple, why haven’t you done that yet?
I wish you could see how important my future is to me, as it is just as much to you. Before you know it, we’ll both be walking across the stage at graduation. We’ll both be receiving the same bachelor’s degree (ironic huh?). We’ll be most likely moving states away from each other, and that will be it. Guess why, I’ll give you a hint: you didn’t try as hard as I did.
They always say to let the boys chase you, don’t chase them. Easier said than done when you’ve been running for a while, and your legs seem to not have an off switch. They should say, “If a boy happens to be worth chasing, run as fast as you can.” I don’t think this boy has understood the impact he has had on me. And I wish I could speak up and tell him this, but I can’t. My mouth is always glued shut when he is in my presence, unless I have a little liquid courage under my belt at the time.
I wish things could be different, the way they used to be. Why don’t you want me, the way I want you? I promise I’ll make you feel like the most important person in my world, I promise to do everything right this time. I promise to keep on loving you, as long as you give me the time of day.