New Year’s Resolutions. We’ve all been there. Back in January they seemed like a great idea. New year, new you, right? By this time of year, people are often hard on themselves for not sticking to their New Year’s Resolutions. If you’re currently experiencing this – fear not! You still have time. Here are our quick fixes to some of the most common resolutions.
- If your resolution was to read more books…
Gather up a bunch of your favorite children’s books and read them as fast as you can. Voila! More books read.
2. If your resolution was get on top of your class readings…
Place all of the semester’s readings you didn’t do in a pile and sit on them. Enjoy being on top of your readings!
3. If your resolution was make new friends…
Go into the AC and approach a random Clarkie. With the stress of finals upon us, being approached by a stranger is sure to make anyone want to talk to you!
4. If your resolution was to learn a new language…
Download Duolingo and frantically keep playing until you have achieved “proficiency”.
5. If your resolution was to get glo’d up…
Acquire glow sticks and wear them around campus.
6. If your resolution was to spend less money…
Go home for winter break and mooch off your family.
7. If your resolution was to drop some weight…
Go to the gym. Lift a weight. Drop said weight on the ground. Congratulations, resolution achieved!
8. If your resolution was to travel…
Point to a random place on a world map. Look up flights to said destination. Get depressed by the prices (Hey, travelling is expensive. At least you tried!).
9. If your resolution was to eat more greens…
Only eat green foods for the rest of the year. Mint Chocolate Chips. Apple Jolly Ranchers. Sour Cream and Onion chips. Green M&Ms. You get the idea.
10. If your resolution was to get more organized…
Read an excessive number of “How to Get Organized” articles on the internet. Get your act together for a few days. Slowly lose motivation.
There’s always next year!