The Beginning of my Manifestation Journey
Towards the end of summer – preparing to leave for college during a pandemic and doing a LOT
of laundry – I listened to a podcast episode called “Getting the Life You Dream Of (manifesting
your dream man??).” It’s part of the podcast called Acting My Age with Rohini Elyse, an
influencer I’ve followed and watched on YouTube for a couple of years now. I would
recommend her podcast as a whole in case you were looking for a new one that feels like a
cousin giving you advice in the best way possible. This podcast also draws from Episode 74 of
the podcast called Expanded with Lacy Phillips.
To say that this episode changed my life might be a bit of an overstatement, but it did have a
profound effect on me, in large part because of the moment in my life when I heard it. To situate
this; I had just come to the realization that all of that self-work I was supposed to be doing over
the summer had slipped through the cracks and the five months of quarantine (that felt like they
both lasted forever and passed oddly fast) were over. Not only did I feel like I should be doing
this self-work, but I had also recognized some personal truths about myself and my past that I
wanted to overcome and/or make peace with.
Manifestation is not something that I am very familiar with. The only thing I knew (or thought I
knew) about it was that it’s when people think about something or wish for something and then it
appears/happens. Little did I know, I was pretty ignorant about the whole topic and the different
facets and beliefs of manifestation that exist. Though I am still a bit skeptical about some of the
practices of manifestation, one of the main points Rohini makes in the podcast is that no matter
what, for any subject, approach it with an open mind and take from it what you agree with or
what you believe in and leave what you don’t: “You can take bits and pieces from lots of
different people, and lots of different books, lots of different teachings and kind of mash them
together to figure out what works for you.”
Rohini defines manifestation as the belief that you deserve the life you want. That was the most
impactful sentiment in the podcast for me. She talked about how that takes a lot of hard work to
learn to love yourself more fully in order to truly believe that you deserve what you want. This
work is privileged, and harder and more extensive for some than for others. I won’t go into the
rest because that’s what the podcast is for, but I wanted to expand on the main sentiment. The
general idea is that once you believe you deserve the life you want, you’ll stop holding yourself
back, be more confident in your decisions, and put out an energy that will attract good people
and opportunities into your life, among other things.
I heard a lot of truth in this, and I found myself realizing how much I want this for myself and for
the people I love. The first step in the process, it seems, is to learn to love and accept yourself.
However, this can be a lifelong process, and I know I’m not the only person holding themselves
back. I suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, imposter syndrome, loneliness, failure, trauma – all
things that stand in one’s way of being confident and self-assured. But listening to this podcast
was a much-needed shove telling me to get over those things. I know – much, much, much easier
said than done.
I don’t know how long it will take, especially because it will involve overcoming some tough
moments and mindsets. However, manifestation is something for me to cling to, and maybe it
can be for you too. A little drop of hope for a brighter future. A gift that tells me not only should
I learn to love myself because it will lead to a more full and peaceful life, but that if I do, I will
be able to believe that I deserve the life I want and begin to act in ways which bring that belief to
fruition.