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Culture > Entertainment

College Explained Through John Mulaney Quotes

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Clark chapter.
  1. Attempting to do any work

“Percentage-wise, it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them.”

  1. Thinking about when you graduate

“2029? That’s not a real year. By 2029, I’ll drinking moon juice with President Jonathan Taylor Thomas.”

  1. Discussion sections

“College is just your opinion. Just you raising your hand and being like, ‘I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.’ And they’re like, ‘Partial credit.’”

  1. Getting late night fries

“Sometimes, when people order fries they act like it’s a little adventure. They’ll be like, should we get a plate of fries for the table? Should we do it? Should we- should we share some fries?”

  1. Meeting new people

“And I didn’t know her well enough by then to be like, “Hey, what kind of a person are you?’”

 

Amy is currently a freshman at Clark University majoring in biology and minoring in political science. In her free time she enjoys spending time with her dog Cooper and watching Netflix (Parks and Rec is her favorite right now).
Monica Sager is a freelance writer from Clark University, where she is pursuing a double major in psychology and self-designed journalism with a minor in English. She wants to become an investigative journalist to combat and highlight humanitarian issues. Monica has previously been published in The Pottstown Mercury, The Week UK, Worcester Telegram and Gazette and even The Boston Globe. Read more of Monica’s previous work on her Twitter @MonicaSager3.