I have been in a long-distance relationship for two years. I must say that I think my fiancé and I kick butt at it! Our entire relationship has been long distance. It started just an hour apart. Then, he got promoted and moved 4 hours away. Long-distance relationships are hard work, but they are totally worth it! Over the past couple of years, I’ve realized the things that help our relationship be the best it can be, and I wanted to share those tips with you!
- Comprehension is KEY.
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Y’all can communicate all day long, but if you don’t understand what the other person is saying, then you’re not going to get anywhere. Actually listening not just hearing what the other person is saying can help.
- Talk on the phone often.
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Especially when things start to get a little tense, just pick up the phone and have a discussion through a phone call. So many times, a text can get misread with the wrong tone and make things worse. It’s also just important to talk on the phone every now and then because it’s nice to hear their voice. You can have better conversations over the phone than in texts, too.
- The little things count too.
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Sometimes, my fiancé will randomly Venmo me so I can treat myself to lunch, or I will mail him a care package. The little unexpected things can make such a difference in a long-distance relationship. If one of you is having a busy day and can’t talk much, just let the other one know that they will be on your mind and that you love them. That is super simple and goes a long way.
- Don’t assume that the other person knows how you feel.
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Don’t forget to give compliments about everything, not just about appearance. And don’t forget to say, “I love you,” often. The other person might need reassurance that everything is okay. Just reassure them instead of getting annoyed. It’s not hard to do.
- Both people have to make the same amount of effort.
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Especially with long distance, it is important that both people are traveling to see each other an equal amount. It’s not fair to just have one person traveling all the time because that gets old really fast, especially if you have to sit in hours of traffic. Showing love and affection is important, too, because you don’t always want to be the one who texts first or calls first. You’re already dating, so you already know he likes you!
- Spend time alone together.
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If you’re like me and my fiancé and live with roommates or go and visit family, sometimes it’s hard to get that alone time with just the two of you. It is important! Being alone is where you can have those one on one connections and conversations you will think about while y’all are apart. If you’re with friends or family the whole time, make dinner plans with just the two of you so you can at least have an hour or two alone.
- FaceTime!!!
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It really helps the time apart not feel so long. Being able to see his facial expressions and see what he is doing makes us both feel like the weeks are shorter than those weeks apart when we don’t have a chance to FaceTime.
- Avoid “dangerous” situations.
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If you wouldn’t like your significant other to do it, then you probably shouldn’t do it either. That’s a little motto I live by when making decisions. If you know that your significant other doesn’t like when you do something, don’t do it. It’s not worth the fight. And it’s not a matter of trust – it’s a matter of respect.If you’re significant other is uncomfortable with something, you shouldn’t do it anyway and just tell them to just trust you. You shouldn’t participate in that activity because you respect your significant other and how they feel about everything.
- Be honest.
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My gosh! This is so important! How is the other person supposed to know something if you don’t tell them? Humans can’t read minds. If you get annoyed with something the other person is doing, just have a calm talk with them over the phone explaining how you feel and what they could do to make it better. Being honest helps keep things real and happy. Once one person in the relationship has expressed a feeling towards something, the other person should work to fix it and not just ignore it.
- It is important to know each other’s schedules.
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This helps keep communication clear and open. My fiancé knows when I have class and work. That way, if he calls during those time, he knows what I’m doing. My fiancé travels for work, so I know where he is working and who he is working with. Because of that, I know when it’s okay to call him while he is at work or if I should just wait for him to get off. This also helps with overthinking since we won’t have to wonder what the other person is doing.
- STAY POSITIVE!
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This is so important! You have to keep a positive attitude about the relationship and about life in general. If you put negative things into a relationship, negatives things will come from it.