More students nowadays appear to be wondering, “Maybe I really can find someone special at the click of a mouse.” The general population adopted online dating a long time ago; in fact an estimated 40% of all singles, a staggering 40 million people, visit online dating sites to find that special someone. Increasingly, though, those 40 million people are comprised of college-aged and graduate students who are turning to online dating sites to fulfill their romantic needs.
“It’s like one of those things that everybody is doing, but no one really talks about,” says Joy Nelson, a young online dater and recent Carnegie Mellon graduate. “I think people don’t talk about it because it’s embarrassing. No one wants to admit that they resorted to it. But I know of a good 10 or so of my friends who are doing it, including myself.”
The arrival of college-aged users is fueling growth in an already enormous industry. Today, the dating service industry is projected to be worth almost $2.1 billion. An estimated 1,500 dating sites exist in the United States alone. Online dating was rated the third most popular way for singles to meet, coming behind just school/work and friend/family member in a recent Match.com study.
Some of the most popular sites like OkCupid, Casual Kiss and PlentyofFish tend to appeal to younger users whose numbers are quickly growing. While sites like Match.com report that only 8% of their users are under 30, free sites like OkCupid report that the majority of their 8 million members are under 30; in fact, the average age of their users is 24.
David Evans, a consultant who authors the website Online Dating Insider, told Oregon Live that he estimates one-fifth of users today are under 30. With sites like PlentyofFish reporting a quarter of million user log-ins each day, the number of online dating users under 30 is surely growing. These free dating sites combine multiple features such as chatting, winking, smiling, commenting and rating to make these cyber-dating circles as interactive as possible. But what makes these online sites more appealing and useful than the regular meet-and-greet of local bars and coffee shops?
“I joined to meet people outside my given network of existing friends,” says Carnegie Mellon student Terry Boyd. “Usually people appear too busy for dating and when they’re not it’s hard to tell who is available or interested. With online dating you know upfront that the person is also single and looking. I also think it’s interesting that there’s a backend algorithm.”
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The world of relationships has always been a perplexing one, and now with divorce rates rising people have chosen to search elsewhere for successful matchmaking assistance: the Internet. Lately, however, younger generations are also looking toward the Internet to find that special someone. While many search for something more serious to avoid the “hook-up” culture of mutual friends and peers, others are reaching for an easier way to find that “hook-up” buddy.
Typically online dating websites have asked for membership fees in exchange for precise algorithmically arranged love matches. But more and more sites are operating on the basis that love shouldn’t have to come at a high cost–in fact, it should be free. This option has expanded the dating market to the lower-income student population who are digitally inclined. With the combination of capabilities of social networking websites like Facebook, paired with a dissection of one’s personality based on systematic questioning, online dating sites are functioning as cost effective match makers for the under-30 population. Unfortunately for us, though, these sites have top-secret algorithms for their match making processes so no one can truly know the formula to love. Some online daters are skeptical of these formulas.
“These days, people play video games that encompass entire worlds and they have a character that represents them better than they see themselves in life. They chose to stay in the game instead of life,” says student and online dater, Nick Ferrell.
“Online dating seemed like another way for this generation to hide from the real world and never develop the skills that come with meeting someone in person,” says Ferrell.
Despite the skeptics, college students are continue to expand their match options beyond their current social circles.
“Even though my last boyfriend and I met online and we had mutual friends and went to the same school I would have never met him had it not been for online dating. It’s funny how that works.” says Kent State student Stephanie Churchill.
It could be that online dating is making the game of love even more fun and exciting for the younger crowds. In fact author of Love, Internet Style David Brooks told the New York Times that “online dating puts structure back into courtship.” But structure these days involves more online interaction than actual face-to-face time. The more successful sites among the younger population are fully aware of the needs of the social networking generation, not to mention the idea that these types of users may not necessarily be looking for something serious.
The “hookup” culture is being embraced and facilitated on these websites as well. The basic formula would mean users get paired with fellow users searching for the same thing, be it long-term, short-term or even friendship. This short-term need is exactly what a study that the Institute for American Values conducted on college found to be true.
“The culture of courtship, a set of social norms and expectations that once helped young people find the pathway to marriage, has largely become a hook-up culture with almost no shared norms or expectations.” say Institute for American Values researchers.
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Another site targeted specifically to college students, Date My School, has developed a market audience of specifically college-aged students with similar educational goals that are looking for a more serious relationship. Every user needs an active university email account to register on the site, making. Even though it seems like common sense that students have perhaps the best access to people while on campus community or out on the town, these haven’t proven key locations to look for a match. This is Date My School’s niche: helping these students look for compatible partners that go unnoticed even if they’re seemingly right under their nose. Users can also narrow their partner search to specific schools, and with about 100,000 users there are plenty of fish in Date My School’s sea. The site is growing but it is not nearly as popular as its competitor OkCupid, which boasts 8 million users.
An interesting facet of the under-30 population is that not all of us are necessarily looking for that special someone. Some people are just searching for new connections, be that in the form of a friendship, fling or something serious.
“I started [on online dating sites] because I was looking to meet new people where I was moving. Not necessarily for romance, just for new people,” says Joy Nelson, recent college graduate. She’s even come up with some savvy advice for fellow first-timers in the online dating scene.
“1. Safety first. If you are uncomfortable, block the person. 2. Friend the person on Facebook and/or Skype them before meeting in person just to make sure they are who they claim to be. 3. Meet in a public place preferably without alcohol. 4. Meet lots of new people. And most importantly, don’t expect to get it right on the first try,” says Nelson.
But with school, homework, job searching and other activities on their plates, students are having a hard time searching for compatible partners. These dating websites are making the search more efficient by allowing them to quickly sort through the people in their vicinity. Time is money, after all.
The online dating scene for 20-somethings, though growing, is still somewhat taboo. “It just seems to me that it’s like giving up. Like the last step so I don’t have to be alone.” says UCLA student Kayla Sheer. But this type of sentiment is becoming less apparent as curiosity is being stirred by word-of-mouth on the success of online dating.
“I’m very glad I did it,” says Joy Nelson.”I’ve met interesting people who have a lot in common with me. It’s embarrassing because, in a sense, it seems desperate. Looking for a stranger online somehow feels like a last resort and a lot of people don’t want to even admit that they met that way.”
The statistical success of online dating is certainly something to be inquisitive about. A study reported to Science Daily by Dr. Jeff Gavin and Dr. Adrian Scott of the University of Bath and the University of West England found that when couples who had built up a significant relationship by e-mailing or chatting online met for the first time, 94 percent went on to see each other again. The study also found that men who online dated were significantly more likely to be committed to the relationship than women and were more dependent on their ‘e-partner’ which can be good news to those collegiate women who can’t seem to find a partner willing to commit. In fact a study done by Chadwick and Martin Bailey found that 17% of couples who were married in the last three years met on an online dating site, which has grown from the 13% in 2005. Additionally, one out of every five singles in the United States has dated someone they met online.
With statistics like these it’s not surprising that digital cupid’s wings are abuzz on college campuses today. As students’ curiosity perks and the more they hear about their peers joining the online dating world, maybe finding someone compatible on the other end of the screen seems possible after all.