So, fun fact about me: I’m a Harry Potter Nerd. Like, so much so that I just ordered my Slytherin laptop decal from Etsy (it’s official ya’ll!), and I’m half tempted to get an actual printed photo of Tom Felton with his “I ship Dramione!” sign… And visit Scotland just to see the castle where the films were made… And buy my own house-colors-set of all seven HP books (because that’s actually a thing).
It’s kind of ironic, actually. A lot of the people here at CNU say it’s weird that I’m a Slytherin, but I can guarantee my friends from home know it’s totally true.
But that’s the beauty of being a Slytherin, I guess. No one ever knows which person they’re going to see today.
I also noticed that people tend to give us snakes a bad name. Like, not that I think anything that ol’ Moldy Voldy did was cool (can anyone say even-uglier-than-the-original-Hitler-wannabe?), but I haven’t met anyone else who was smart enough to figure out how to split his/her soul into objects… Or speak to snakes…
But, really. I know people think we’re judgemental, but it’s only because we’re ambitious. And, sorry, but if you’re going to be detrimental to my success, then see ya later.
So, for all you closeted Slytherins out there – this one’s for you.
You have a taste for the finer things in life.
Sure, you probably don’t do cocaine – or any kind of drugs because you’re totally a law abiding citizen – but if you did, you would only take the good stuff.
Sarcasm is your primary language (proper English comes in at a close second, though).
“Yes, Susan, because we all want to hear about your weekend escapades.”
You have some pretty cool tricks up your sleeve, like getting what you want.
*blinks coquettishly*
You’re super blunt. To the point where people sorta hate you for it.
Words are your end game, but you also know how to use them.
You understand how flashy and minimalism can actually mesh well.
One of the worst human beings on the planet walked around with a snake following him at every corner, for crying out loud. And, yet, all he wore was a simple black robe… It’s all about the accents, people.
You actually like to read… A lot.
Let’s be honest… You’d probably spend more time in a library than Hermione would.
Ambition + Power = You
If you’re not first, you’re last, right? Thanks, Ricky Bobby.
You’re, like, super funny.
You know when to get out of sticky situations (and just how to do it).
You will do whatever is necessary to protect, provide for, and preserve the happiness of your loved ones.
Does this really need an explanation? Just because you don’t stand on top of the Empire State Building and profess your love for everyone you care for doesn’t mean you don’t. You’re probably more likely to make a crafty gift or something for them, because it shows off your incredible skills and how much you care based on the fact that you took the time to make something handmade.
Being a Slytherin isn’t all bad, guys. In fact, consider yourself lucky to be one – and to have one in your life. We lie in waiting and know when it’s the best time to strike. Now if we can just get a super cool hand sign…