Ah, American Horror Story: a show that used to scare the living daylights out of me and give me actual nightmares.
The first season was by far the best, let’s be real.
In its prime, AHS was a solid 10/10 show that brought the horror, the drama, the romance, the creeps, Jessica Lange, and even the occasional laughs. It had it all.
Seriously, she is so fabulous.
The first three seasons of this show were some solid television, and that is a compliment that is hard to come by from me because I take my television watching very seriously. And I mean that in the most literal way, I do not watch funny TV and I sure as hell don’t watch reality TV. Give me a good show where I can escape the realities of this world, and put me in a different world far away from the endless pile of homework that I am inevitavly avoiding, and we are golden. I found this escape in the first few seasons of American Horror Story. It was real enough to scare the bejesus out out of me, but at the same time it was just over-the-top enough for me to know that none of it would ever be real. The running theme that actual humans are the real monsters was poignant and gripping, and it was always an emotional roller coaster.
Such a good theme!!
Lest we forget Evan Peters, which let’s be honest here, is the only reason we all still watch this steaming pile of garbage that this show has become.
I just love him.
And then, Freak Show happened and my world was crushed. I mean, come on, that was some of the worst television I have ever endured. They had way too many plotlines going on, and Kathy Bates’s accent was the most terrifying thing in the whole season.
Sit down, Dandy. No one cares.
I thought that since AHS is an anthology show, meaning that the story is different every season, that maybe it was just the circus idea that didn’t work out, so I gave Ryan Murphy and the cast that I had come to know and love another chance. But no, the worst television I have ever endured came the following year when they released Hotel. I couldn’t even get through the whole thing it was so bad. There was no plot, everything was so dark that you literally coulld not see what was happening, and the whole vampire thing was absolutely ridiculous. Lady Gaga, I love you, but you need to return that Golden Globe, for real.
But really, who thought this was good acting??
And yet for some reason, I found myself sitting in the livingroom with my roommates ready to watch the premiere of Season 6 last week. I am not going to go on and on about that because the internet has done some lovely coverage of it all week. The marketing team has done a pretty good job of getting viewers back by not releasing anything about this season beforehand, and they still haven’t really revealed anything. My biggest question is: where are the opening credits because that is the scariest part of the show! It will be interesting to see where it goes because I honestly wasn’t too impressed with the first episode. However, if it turns out to be anything like the last two seasons of the show, I might have to give up on American Horror Story altogether. Honestly, I am ready for some Murder House and Asylum kinds of scares. Ryan Murphy, please restore my faith in this show because right now that faith is shattered like poor little Sister Mary Eunice.
Lily Rabe for President.
So please give me something to look forward to again every week. As for the new season, I guess we will see what happens tonight in the weird, theme-less, horror documentart thing that is happening right now.