Looking back, I haven’t been all that great of a feminist. My journey of loving myself as a woman has been a long one. It has been difficult because the world was not built for me to succeed and thrive; the foundations of my country did not have me in mind. That hard truth is something that in my transition into adulthood, I had to come to grips with. It was scary for a bit, because as a woman in this society we are told that we should ‘just take it’: that we should be proper, quiet, and to stay in line. If we split from that expectation, we are deemed violent and emotional. But after the realization that I could be different, that there is a beautiful community that will accept me as a woman, that idea changed my life. But feminism gets a bad reputation. Actually, nowadays it seems that any woman willing to share her femininity is instantly shot down. And that thought doesn’t sit well with me. So, here is my journey, I hope you can relate!
Loving all Femininity
Feminism is an incredibly broad term. It is one of the most beautiful things about being a woman. You don’t have to be one type of woman to call yourself a feminist. I feel that the reputation of a feminist has become tarnished. Many believe that you have to be some kind of workaholic man-hater in order to qualify for the title. But in reality, you can be any kind of woman. I am the type of girl with makeup stains on her hands, but you can also be the girl who has grass stains on your jeans. You can be tomboy, girly, straight, gay, trans, stay-at-home taking care of the kids, working all day climbing up the corporate ladder, mother, someone who wants nothing to do with children, single, settled down, or just calling yourself a woman identifies you with us. Feminists are equally right in what they want to do with their feminism and how they want to express their own femininity.Â
Lifting up other women
At times, society pushes an idea that, as women, we constantly need to be in competition with each other. In work, partners, social structures, and life, we are always battling against other women. Especially in the language we use towards each other. You can feel the animosity. But lately, I have been trying to lift up other women. Instead of being jealous or angry of how one girl looks or acts, I have tried to love them for what they’re doing. Complementing their outfit or appreciating their confidence. Lifting up the women in my life and the strangers I come across has been a major part of exploring my femininity.
My upbrinGing
My upbringing has always been the easiest part of my journey. My family is full of strong, independent, and gorgeous women. My mother has always allowed me to be who I am. She has loved and nurtured my voice when it comes to my beliefs and thoughts. She has never steered me wrong. My aunt on my dad’s side, has always taught me to smile. She’s had many hardships in her life and yet I’ve never seen her shed a tear. It is true strength. My aunt on my mom’s side, is an actress who has encouraged me to always be confident and true to myself. She owns her own theater now and has inspired me to always chase my dreams. My grandmother has worked so hard every day in her life. She has done so much for herself and others tirelessly. She is the ideal definition of an independent woman. In my hometown, I have a large group of family friends who always uplift and inspire me as a female. I have always grown up around strong women, and I continue to be influenced by the wonderful females in my life.
men
The world is imperfectly made for women. Men were always meant to be on top. Change is in the air, but at times it seems like a distant dream. Women still earn only 83 cents to a dollar for what a man makes, and that is torture to think about. I have spent the majority of my life attempting to educate men in my family, school, and general environment. Some listen, some deflect, and others simply shut me down. The ones who learn are my favorite, those are the men who are allies to change. My father has always been someone who has rallied my independence. He has always encouraged me to be myself and explore my femininity in any way I please. He always made sure that I never needed a man’s help, and that I could do things on my own. He fostered my independence from day one. I implore men to listen next time a woman states her feminism. To men, it may seem like an attack or preachy, but let me promise you that is not our goal. Our goal is not to topple you, but to walk side by side into the future as equals.
myself
Finding out what kind of feminist I would like to be has been a hard journey. There was a time period where I thought feminism was a bad thing, or that it was not the right path for me. Over time I realized how truly beautiful this community is. It embraces women and nurtures them to be the heroes of the future. At times, I would say that I hated being a woman because all the odds were stacked against me. But in reality, there is nothing more that I love than proudly stating my femininity.