I have been in constant awe of the actions and tenacity of many seniors at Christopher Newport University. As a freshman, many of my friends and I are delving into campus activities and fulfilling our passions. However, as you all know, this can be difficult. Keeping up with numerous clubs and homework and both mental and physical health has been one of the most difficult things for us. In light of this confusion, I have decided to reach out to seniors for advice on how to survive the next three and a half years. I have specifically reached out to those who have accomplished a lot on campus in their respective areas (and people that I actually know because I’ve only been here for six months).
Though the advice is all varying, I’m sure these seniors can give you advice that’ll help you weather through most anything. I know this article is extremely long, but I think every word is worth your time.
Click each page to see the questions I asked them and their respective answers!
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1. How/when did you develop techniques to keep your life together?
Sadie Carr: “Honestly, I didn’t really get my life together until halfway through my second semester of freshman year when my friend started making me go to the library to do homework with her instead of the floor of my hall, which was a very distracting environment.”
Erin Boyer: “I just knew I had to have good grades because I came here for school first. My planner and google calendar are my life for sure. I also like to-do lists.”
Tiffany Reese: “During my freshman year of college, I bought a huge desk calendar where I put the due dates on upcoming assignments so I wouldn’t be behind. I would do this every month for the rest of my undergrad experience. I also bought a dry erase calendar that hangs on my wall (or at least it used to) for my social activities that may or may not have anything to do with CNU academics.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Good question — I don’t think it’s even as much a matter of when, considering I still have days where I feel like I have no control over anything and I still have to work fairly hard to keep myself motivated. In terms of how, I think it just takes time and experimentation. What works for me isn’t necessarily going to work for everyone else.”
Michael Bamisile: “My story is VERY different from most college students. Before beginning my collegiate career at Christopher Newport University, I attended high school at Fork Union Military Academy. I chose to attend Fork Union to improve my basketball skills, but I had no idea I would gain many other skills in different aspects of my life. It is at this school I took opportunities to develop techniques to keep my life together. Before I continue any further, it is important that I emphasize my last statement: I took opportunities. This was an active process on my part. Yes, my high school experience is different, but this places me at no advantage or disadvantage. What placed me at an advantage (and what will place you at an advantage) was recognizing the various opportunities around and being prepared to take advantage of it. That is how I became independent, better at time management, better with my finance and etc. Opportunities won’t find yah, but it makes itself known to those who seek it.”
Victoria Lurie: “I was lucky that life mostly handed me one thing at a time, until last year. All of a sudden, I was holding down two jobs, trying to pass class, see all my friends, and date a little. My sanity basically hinged on time management.”
Anonymous: “I only just now figured out how to get my life together. I went through a really hard time, and I learned that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can start to climb your way up. I completely changed my life through exercise, therapy, diet, and making the decision to be better and committing to it.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “I really learned my skills as I was going along. It was a lot of trial and error of trying out different things and keeping track of all of the things I needed to be doing. I tried planners, whiteboards, sticky notes, checklists, and finally ended with Google Calendar. So, it really just depends on what each person finds best for them.”
Bonnie Newton: “Honestly, I’m still figuring it out, but the key is staying organized and knowing what has to get done. When I worked for Performing Arts for Everyone at the Kennedy Center (aka one of the busiest production offices in the country [they produce close to 500 shows a year]), I adopted their organization method, which is essentially a matrix of color-coded Excel spreadsheets where each row is a different date and each column is a different subject/task. But I also have a notebook with a to-do list of major projects in it.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Sophomore year when I was forced to, due to my involvement in student organizations. Keeping my s*it together suddenly wasn’t just about me. If I lost my s*it, other people were going to be affected!”
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2. What do you think is the most important aspect of college life?
Sadie Carr: “I love school, so I think academics are the most important thing at the end of the day. That’s why we are here paying all this money.”
Erin Boyer: “The stuff you can learn outside of the classroom within your involvements on campus or off-campus.”
Tiffany Reese: “The most important aspect of college life is basically finding who you are as a person and loving every minute of the journey. I will honestly tell you that I did not find myself until my sophomore year of college, after I joined the Improvocatuers. These girls helped me find something in myself that I’ve been missing for a very long time. They taught me to be myself without any regrets.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “To me, it’s definitely the extra-curriculars and the relationships that you build through those. Yes, it’s important to pay attention in class and do your work (although I don’t always follow that advice myself), but you need a solid foundation of people that you know will support you when you’re struggling and will want to blow off steam the same way you want to!”
Michael Bamisile: “This is a tougher question… I have two answers for this: We all came to college (hopefully) to get an education. Education, in my opinion, is the reason why we should all attend college. To come to college is to seek knowledge to become more educated. Education is a very important aspect of college to understand the world around us, but I strongly believe the other important aspect of college is YOU. College is a time to learn more about yourself and understand how you fit into the equation called life. I disagree that college is a time to make mistakes. I believe that college is like practice: a time to understand your weaknesses and improve your skills to be successful in the future. College is time for YOU to truly grow, and this is why I consider this a very important aspect of college.”
Victoria Lurie: “Enjoying the talents of your classmates: go to comedy shows, theatre productions, musical showcases, sporting, Greek, and CAB events. If you don’t get involved, at least reap the benefits of those who do.”
Anonymous: “The most important thing to me is finding your people. You cannot be successful if you don’t have at least one person to support you, to confide in, to laugh with. Once you find your place and become happy, then you find that everything becomes much easier.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “The most important aspect of college life is that you find meaningful relationships and experiences in everything you do. Everything I have done at CNU, from Greek Life to theater to orientation, I have left with relationships that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I also leave each involvement with an experience that has better me as a person, student, family member, friend, and brother. The personal significance of each of my involvements and within my major has defined my college experience tremendously, and It is my hope that every student at CNU will find that significant involvement during their time here.”
Bonnie Newton: “The freedom that college gives you to figure out who you are and what you love, and after you figure that out, the ability to form a community with people who share the same passions.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Having a good time! Everyone has different ideas about how to make it through university, so it’s about finding what you love and running with it. I love having a Google Calendar that is packed and is made up of all kinds of crazy colors and to-do lists, but some people might resent the idea of ever using a Google Calendar to make plans. It’s all about perspective, but seriously HAVE FUN and ENJOY YOURSELF, you only get to do undergrad ONCE!”
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3. If you could give your freshman self one piece of advice, what would it be?
Sadie Carr: “Take things slow! You don’t have to join a million things at once. Especially for freshmen it’s a really hard transition, so you don’t want to get too overwhelmed in your first year. Also, your time here will fly by so fast, so savor each moment while you can!”
Erin Boyer: “Dump that boy and just try harder to get involved earlier on.”
Tiffany Reese: “Please, whatever you do, don’t let anyone or anything steer you away from what you want to do in life. And always know who you are. Tiffany, I know it’s scary to find yourself again but you have to do be honest with yourself and do it now before it is too late.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “I’d tell her to get ready, because college is both one of the most amazing and most challenging times. I’d tell her that when things get rough, it will always get better, even when it seems like it never will. Take a breath, drink some coffee, and work through it.”
Michael Bamisile“Carpe Diem. It means to ‘seize the day’. When I hear these words, it reminds me to strive to make every second of my day count so that I could be a blessing to those around me. As cliché as it may be, Life is truly a gift. If someone gives you a gift you really appreciate, you would put it to good use. So should it be with your life also! Don’t waste your time. Have fun, but remember your goals and, most importantly, the importance of your life. Someone out in the world needs you, whether it is right now or in the future. The clock keeps ticking… how long will you take before you are ready to use your gift?”
Victoria Lurie: “Try to see it their way; your side of the story is not the only one that matters.”
Anonymous: “Join clubs! Go through sorority recruitment! Stop sitting at home crying and wondering why people don’t like you. Pick yourself up, and put yourself out there! You have so much love to give, let people know you.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “If I could tell freshman Jonathan anything it would be to not wait. I didn’t really get involved with anything on campus until my sophomore year. I was afraid to get too involved and that it would affect my grades. Little did I know that getting involved would actually help my grades, would make me a lot happier to go to class, and enjoy being a Captain.”
Bonnie Newton: “Just one? Freshman Bonnie was a mess! Although, I guess the most important thing I would want my freshman self to know is that if you’re conforming to something to try to make someone happy, you’re not really being yourself. ‘Person who makes everyone happy’ is not an identity, so do what YOU love and be who YOU want to be.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Do not take your higher education for granted and be kind to yourself, always. University is not like high school. The classes are more demanding, tougher and professors often push you do the best work possible. With tougher classes and a bigger work load it is easy to get caught up in all the stress you are feeling, so please be kind to yourself! Go to the counseling center if you have to! That place saved me from all my stress and anxiety my freshman year. I probably wouldn’t be at CNU today if I hadn’t gone and sorted through the challenges I had adjusting to university.”
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4. Who is the one person you talk to when things get rough?
Sadie Carr: “My roommates, my family, and my good friends at home. I have a pretty solid support system!”
Erin Boyer: “This varies on the day because usually it is whoever is willing to listen.”
Tiffany Reese: “Dr. Patricia Hopkins, an African American studies English teacher at CNU/my favorite and wonderful mentor. I talk to her every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (which are her office hours haha). I’ve known her since freshman year spring semester. She has guided me in life and has helped me think critically in order to redefine myself and mold me into the woman I am today. She has helped me more than she could ever know, and I thank my ancestors and the spirits above that she is in my life. Out of all the people I’ve met a CNU, I will miss her the most.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “My mom.”
Michael Bamisile: “Personally, it is Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. My life has not been the easiest. I have had my share of struggles, my hardships, and failures, but He has given me a reason to smile everyday. His grace is why I am living and doing everything I am doing. Talking to Him and praising His name has given me the answers I needed whether I liked it or not. I will continue to put my faith in Him because He loves me. He loves you too and is ready to assist you if you choose to place your faith in Him as well.”
Victoria Lurie: “*Nerd Alert* my journal. I need somewhere that won’t judge me when I vent about stupid stuff. Although when it comes to talking to real people, my poor social circle gets inundated with the same story over and over pretty often.”
Anonymous: “My mom.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “I can’t say that there just one person that I go to talk to. I have my very own personal squad of a support team. This squad consists of my two closest KDR brothers, Jake Rogers and Devin Craig; my crew leader best friend Cara Coffin; and recent CNU graduate and University Fellow Carol Dougherty. These four people are my closest friends, and the people I know will be there for me whenever I need them.”
Bonnie Newton: “It’s been different people over the years, but most of the time it’s my mom. She’s also an overachiever and a total boss, so she really understands most of the things I stress about. Although, sometimes you need someone who is physically there and not just a caring voice over the phone. In those cases, I’ve had a couple of really close friends and a few mentors on campus that I’ve gone too, and now I have an amazing girlfriend who is a great listener, so I can always go to her.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Well it was my counselor…but she moved to Georgia last semester!! *real tears* But now I usually find myself talking about stuff that’s bothering me with my person Michaela Felter. She’s rad, we’re kinda close and she’s a good listener.”
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5. Studying advice?
Sadie Carr: “Go with people who are going to keep you accountable rather than distract you. I personally colorcode everything!”
Erin Boyer: “Make study guides then comb through to find the most important things and make it simpler and then just keep writing and reading it over.”
Tiffany Reese: “For me flashcards are the best method. Studying with people really helps, and getting up at least 2 hours early (if it’s a test that you are really worried about). However, I think studying is very subjective so what might works for me might be different for you.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Make to-do lists, make notes on your readings, and classical music always gets the job done.”
Michael Bamisile: “DO NOT PROCRASTINATE EVER! IF YOU KNOW YOU HAVE AN EXAM IN A WEEK, GIVE YOURSELF A FEW DAYS TO STUDY! RIHANNA SAID IT BEST: ‘WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK!’ MAKE SURE YOU ARE TAKING YOUR STUDYING SERIOUSLY AND WORKING HARD!!!”
Victoria Lurie: “Build sleep and study time into your schedule. If you don’t make time for it, you’ll never do it. Also, it’s okay to start homework on Friday in those awkward hours after class but before weekend plans kick in.”
Anonymous: “Coffee is bae. Study on your own before you meet up for study groups. That way when you meet up, y’all can teach each other and fill in any blank spots you might have. It’s much more efficient this way. DON’T WAIT TILL THE NIGHT BEFORE.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “Study advice… do it! I probably could have studied more, but #YOLO.”
Bonnie Newton: “1) find what/where works best for you…studying or working with a group of close friends probably doesn’t actually work for you as much as you enjoy it and think you get done. 2) Use a flashcard site like StudyBlue. Just rereading notes is rarely as effective as you think. 3) If you’re having any trouble at all talk to the professor with pre-prepared specific questions in mind. Sometimes when I do that the exact questions I’ve asked the professor during office hours have ended up on the quiz/test/exam. 4) If you’re going to be up really late ditch the caffeine. Water is healthier, keeps you more awake, and every time you have to get up to use the bathroom it will increase your blood flow, which will help you think better.”
Sarah Kerndt: “If you have your phone sitting on top of the desk or table you are sitting at, put it on silent and flip it face down. Less distraction means more action….I just made that up cause it rhymed….heh heh okay BUT SERIOUSLY put your dang phone away if you want to get work done!”
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6. Involvement on campus advice?
Sadie Carr: “Definitely get involved in at least one thing. I feel so much more motivated in general being involved, so it is definitely important. But, know your limits and when you have to put yourself or your academics first.”
Erin Boyer: “If you get a no, keep trying until you get that yes. Also, involvement is just so important in allowing you to have a well-rounded college experience.”
Tiffany Reese: “Find something that you are passionate about. For me, I was passionate about making people laugh, so that’s why I actively sought out the Improvocatuers. If you are passionate about art, dancing, music, anime; join clubs like that!”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Pick one thing that you get super involved with for the first year or two, and then branch out once you’ve adjusted. By the time you’re a senior, you should be able to juggle a lot more!”
Michael Bamisile: “I would highly encourage you to be in at least one organization on campus, but do not overextend yourself. Increase your responsibilities on campus slowly. You don’t have to be in every organization on campus. Pick a few organizations and give your best in each one. Never join an organization just to add to your resume. You are wasting your time when you are doing something you are not passionate about (most of the time). And do not seek leadership positions, but rather seek to be in positions to serve people. If this means taking on a leadership role, fine; but do not join an organization just to become a leader within it.”
Victoria Lurie: “Don’t try to do it all. Pick one organization for yourself now and one for your future. I have a job after graduation because I picked the club that would best help me network (that I also happened to love), but I also joined a fun club because I needed to do something for myself that I could immediately benefit from.”
Anonymous: “Clubs are everything. Being as involved as possible makes college so much more fun. You meet people you never thought you’d talk to. It also looks amazing on your resume if you have multiple leadership positions.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “Find involvements that you are passionate about. Things that you know that you will carry with you for the rest of your time at CNU. It’s ok to do some trial error work before you find those organizations you are truly passionate about. Never stop looking for that place you know you fit like a glove in.”
Bonnie Newton: “Be involved, but if you don’t love something, don’t do it. Your time is too precious to waste on something you aren’t entirely passionate about.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Find a club that you think is rad, join them, become their leader and RULE THE WORLD!… was that too much? okay BUT SERIOUSLY (again) Shop around for clubs that interest you and always remember that if there is something you want to change about the club you can work your way up the ladder to become president and make the club everything you want it to be. Clubs and organizations are very dynamic and are incredibly fun to be involved with on campus.”
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7. Major advice? (Note that responders interpreted this question differently, answering it in relation to your area of study or just significant life advice.)
Sadie Carr: “Pick something you love! The good thing about CNU is that you get to take classes in everything so you can pick something that you really like.”
Erin Boyer: “Start those papers early and ask for help when you need it.”
Tiffany Reese: “Be who you are as a person and NEVER have any regrets. If people do not like the way you are, and you feel like you are not causing any harm to anyone or anything, them forget them (I wanted to use another word but I don’t think we are allowed to say it in a paper haha).”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Let it happen. Pick classes you’re interested in that will get some requirement out of the way, and then explore until you find something you really love.”
Michael Bamisile: “This one is kind of tough for me to answer. The best answer I have is to stay focus on your long-term goal: your future career. If you do not know this yet, start doing your research and utilizing the fantastic programs CNU offers. You should not be getting towards the end of your Spring Semester Junior Year not having any idea what you want to do. Figure this out as early as possible. Once you do that, determining a major won’t be difficult! Try to pick what you like to do but also what is relevant to your future career (if possible). That is what the successful students I have known since the beginning of my collegiate career taught me! (Also, sometimes you get unlucky and you realize by your senior year you don’t know what you want to do. Stay calm and breathe. Do your research, talk to your advisor, and use the resources CNU offers. Everything will be okay!)”
Victoria Lurie: “Don’t join English for your MRS degree; there are only eight men. Jk. I mean, there are only eight men, but the real advice is to do something you’re at least a little bit good at or love at least a little bit. Without aptitude and affection, it’s going to be a long four years.”
Anonymous: “It’s okay to change your major. Talk to your professors. Talk to your advisers. Just because you like something as a hobby, that doesn’t mean you will like it as a career.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “The major that is going to make you the most money isn’t always the right choice. Yes, you’re going to need to support yourself one day but do not sacrifice what you are passionate about just because the average income of that field is low. Life is so much more than making a lot of money, and living comfortable. Let yourself do something you really love.”
Bonnie Newton: “Just try to learn as much as you can. I picked my major/minors because I knew they were interdisciplinary, and since I couldn’t major in everything, majoring in things where I could get a taste of everything was a great compromise. Also, plan out your schedule ASAP. I knew what I was taking and when I was taking it by my second semester freshman year and I’m so grateful, because I wouldn’t have been able to fit everything in otherwise.”
Sarah Kerndt: “If you want to change your major, but someone says the major you want is for people who don’t know what to do with their lives ignore them and FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. That’s what happened to me and if I had listened to that hater I wouldn’t be able to complain about heteronormativity or the patriarchy NEARLY as much. Woo! Communication Majors! Can I get a fist pump please? Changing majors is completely okay to do, as long as it’s not spring semester of your senior year….then you might have issues doing the whole four year thing in school….might turn into six or seven years…!”
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8. Relationship advice?
Sadie Carr: “Learn to love yourself before you dive into anything with anyone else.”
Erin Boyer: “If a significant other magically appears in your life, take the chance and try it, but don’t go looking for someone, because you do not need a ring by spring.”
Tiffany Reese: “Find someone who fits you. I’m a spiritual person, so I would say find someone who you vibe with on a level that can’t really be met by anyone else. You will know it when you feel it.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Again, let it happen. Chasing love is a horrible way to waste your time.”
Michael Bamisile: “Ahhh relationships. Family: Make sure you keep that up because mom, dad, and siblings are super important. Do not get caught up in the midst of the college life that you forget to keep them in the loop. Friends: Pick your friends wisely. Strive to be around people that will help you succeed. The right friends will come and make sure you express to them how much you appreciate them. The lovey dovey one: Love is complicated, but simple. Love is scary, but fun. Love is mysterious, but all in all so beautiful. Love is better with the right person, so be patient… believe me it will be worth it in the end. Most of you have probably heard all this before, but what I am trying to get at is that a relationship should feel so natural. It should never feel forced or feel like it is too much work. Granted, relationships take work, but it should never feel like a burden. I did not understand it until this semester, but when the right person comes along you’ll know it and be fascinated with that person like no one before them. You’ll be incredibly thankful for their existence and quite honestly you’ll feel like you have known them for a lifetime. Don’t give up on love and don’t waste your time looking for love… just allow love at its own time to put in your life the one worth your love.”
Victoria Lurie: “No Tinder profile is complete without a haiku.”
Anonymous: “Honesty and trust are everything.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “I’m an involvement expert not a relationship expert… sorry.”
Bonnie Newton: “Don’t settle. You should be with someone you are head over heals for and completely in awe that you get to be with them, and if you’re ever in a relationship where something feels off, it probably is, and you should get out of that situation. Honesty is also incredibly important! If you feel like there are things you can’t tell your partner or you want to “embellish” stories to try to make yourself seem more interesting for your partner, you’re probably with the wrong person. Finally, if you’re trying to be a boss make sure you’re with someone who understands that and supports that. If you’re with someone who is always complaining about your schedule or every asks if certain things in your schedule are necessary, they’re not the right person for you. That being said, if you do have a busy schedule you need to acknowledge that and try to find time for them even if you have to schedule it in.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Distance SUCKS. Anyone who is still dating the person they dated in high school who goes to a different school or whatever knows that fact. I personally am pro ‘dump that person’ method because there is a high probability (based on personal experience and stories I have heard) of that not ending well…at all…save yourself the heartache….how depressing is that? On a lighter note, date someone who is good for you, good to you and someone who swoons when you give them your phone number on a paper airplane…that’s what I did…and that was 459 days ago, not that anyone is counting; but yeah, date people who are kind to you, and if there is ever a single red flag that comes up you address that ish ASAP! Don’t waste your time with toxic people!!! Good lord I could go on, but I will stop there for now.”
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9. If every college student were required to do/have one thing, what would you want it to be?
Sadie Carr: “Everyone needs a planner. This is a boring answer, but it is essential.”
Erin Boyer: “Every college student should be required to do one involvement that they are truly passionate about.”
Tiffany Reese: “Always have a mentor. And I’m not talking about an adviser. Always have someone you can talk to that understands who you are on a personal level.”
Caitlin Raybourn: “Whatever their preferred vice is — for me, it’s wine and tacos, but whatever you need to get you through the tough times.”
Victoria Lurie: “I have this dream-team list of professors that I think everyone — regardless of major — should have to take a class from. Their passion for their subjects just made my time here so worthwhile, and I want everyone to experience that.”
Anonymous: “Take a crash course on how to clean.”
Jonathan Holcomb: “I wish that every college student could be required to be in at least one club. I really think that people are missing out when they don’t get involved with something outside of their major. There are some many amazing people to meet and experience outside of studying. The world is yours to explore so take advantage, get involved, meet people, make relationships, and cherish the memories.”
Bonnie Newton: “My first instinct was A PUPPY just because I would love to see a campus covered in puppies and puppies in every classroom, but that is completely unrealistic, so I’m going to say that every college student should be required to either take a course on systems thinking or be able to prove that they see the world as a system where every action or decision has multiple consequences besides the linear desired outcome. I think that would help everyone make smarter decisions and be more appreciative of the world they live in. If everyone were required to have one more thing, though, it would definitely be a reusable to-go box for the dining halls, but I have a 20 page paper about that sitting on my hard drive so I’ll spare you my rant.”
Sarah Kerndt: “Recycle more, use reusable containers when getting drinks at Einstein’s (YOU GET 10% OFF IF YOU DO), turn their lights off when they aren’t in their room, don’t let the water run when brushing their teeth, use reusable bags when shopping for food, basically anything that helps to promote greener living. Being green is more important than ever and it’s about time we started taking my personal initiatives to help our planet survive.”
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Special thanks to the following seniors! If their name is highlighted in pink, click it to read their Profile!
Caitlin Raybourn
Major: Communication Studies; Minors: Leadership Studies &Theater
Victoria Lurie
Major: English Writing
Bonnie Newton
Major: Theater (Double Concentration) Directing/Dramatic Literature and Arts Administration; Minors: Leadership Studies and Classical Studies