College is a public hotspot for meeting and conversing with varying new people from all different walks of life. In the initial couple weeks of dorm living, you will interact with those from countless geographical locations, educational backgrounds, and societal environments. Part of adulthood independence is learning how to navigate social climates on your own, but sometimes helpful advice from an elder student can help you avoid a massive communicative faux pas that will haunt you for the rest of your college experience. Here are relational tips from a Senior who has gained first-hand knowledge and gathered peer evidence on how to handle these social situations every university student encounters!
friend do nots
- Do not solely cling to the first friend group you find
A recurrent mistake that freshmen make is exclusively sticking with the first people you meet at your university. Whether it is your assigned college orientation batch or the select crowd on your dorm hall, I would advise any newcomer to broaden your community horizons by hanging with multiple people from differing scenes on campus: club/organization peeps, classmates, and students from older grades for a wide variety of meaningful friendships. Typically, beginning friend groups are formed out of random, constant proximity and repetitive routine, and therefore linger to familiarity instead of branching out to discover deeper connections with others formed from shared interests. Upperclassmen often recall that their earliest posse disbanded quickly into college life, so it is wise to chat with other potentials so that you are not abandoned alone in sophomore year.
- Do not view everyone as your bestie
Normalize using the terms peer, acquaintance, or colleague instead of buddy because not everyone you interact with is indeed your intimate friend. Classmates will often nonchalantly pass through your college career, remaining close partners during the periods that you have the same schedule, and then disappear like a ghost (as if they have left campus itself) when forced interaction is gone. It is perfectly acceptable to have disparate levels of emotional attachment in friendships (kind of like a caste system); not every person is future maid of honor status, and that is A-okay! Relationships serve different circumstantial purposes in your lifetime. Treat those around you with due respect and kindness, but don’t release all your dark secrets and past trauma to just any stranger who coincidentally sits next to you in your gen-ed lecture.
dating do nots
- Do not view every passerby as a potential future wife/hubby
You will be willingly signing up for a massive lot of disappointment if you are inspecting every passing stranger on campus as having the possible potential to be your future partner. The desire for a cutesy book-ish college relationship is intense, I understand the urge as a hopeless romantic, but attempting to search for the match compatibility in every physically attractive student will contribute to despair in believing in love. Do not force a relationship when there is simply no passionate spark or inner harmony purely because you wish to experience a college boyfriend/girlfriend. Let happenings be natural and candid rather than actively seeking out your fairytale ending in random fellow students. Dreadful “situationships” usually stem from trying to launch a committed relationship with an absolute rando.
- Do not prioritize your relationship over your education
Skipping important class lectures and assignments for a boy/girlfriend is a disgraceful no-no. Remember the true reason you are attending a scholarly university is to earn a professional degree, and to be eligible to graduate is to gain good grades through timely attending class, taking dutiful notes, completing assigned work, and presently participating in discussions. Maintaining a relationship does require time to devote to your partner, but it cannot impede on your schoolwork as the main priority. Proper time management and clever scheduling are crucial to keeping your love and education afloat.
staff do nots
- Do not avoid personally speaking and networking with your professors
Office hour and one-on-one meeting opportunities are surprisingly your saving grace! Professors are knowledge masters in their occupation that you have free access to learn whatever answers that intrigue you. By planning a solo meeting during a professor’s office hours, you are making your identity individually known to the very person who dictates your grades (and lowkey future). Emailing questions and inquires, getting involved in staff research projects, and booking tutoring sessions are methods on how to get to know your prof. Establishing a personal connection may serve you well when you fall ill and miss a deadline because they are aware of your character and life circumstances. Also, networking with these professionals is how fresh graduates obtain jobs, as these esteemed experts in their field can connect you to companies for suitable positions.
- Do not speak too casually or inappropriately to/in front of college staff
Although college professors act more casual than strict high school teachers in front of their students, as the classroom is now comprised of all adults, you are still operating inside a civil public environment that enforces on proper conduct. Explicit cursing, revealing intimate bedroom details, or blatantly discussing how you did not honestly complete the coursework due that day will land you on your professor’s contempt-ful side. Courteous maturity and professionalism within the academic sphere will clearly highlight you as a hardworking, serious student who the department will respect. The obnoxious, childish student rarely gets granted their requested extra credit opportunities to boost their grade, as the teachers base their generosity off of behavior track record. Universities functions to churn out competent workers for workforce employment and will look highly upon those in undergrad who display actions that represent that diplomatic image. Basically, save the juicy gossip for dorm hall get-togethers.