The internet erupted in an electrified craze when Olivia Rodrigo released her second album GUTS on September 8th, 2023. Women of all ages loved her refreshing debut album SOUR, as they related to her conflicted, passionate, and snarky emotions as she navigated teenage life under the public eye. Now that the second edition is officially in the Olivia anthology, it is time for the fans to choose their new personal angsty anthem to embody this semester.
All-American B*tch
- For the overachievers and people pleasers who are screaming internally
The double standard of living as a woman in America can be exhausting. The stereotype is that we must be kind, considerate, grateful, delicate, beautiful, and all the while being oppressed by gender roles and misogyny. You do not fit into a cookie-cutter ‘girl archetype’, nor are you are without flaw (as any human is). Attempting to be a perfectly mannered and gracious people pleaser to all those who offend you drains the inner shining soul. The Barbie monologue really hits home for you. Societal ideals are fleeting and futile like trends, and being a smiley, emotionless doll who tolerates disrespect is overrated anyways. Go get ’em, girl.
Bad Idea, Right?
- “For the plot” girlies who live life like it’s rollercoaster of plot twists everyday
Bad, risky decisions are the most exciting, right? You live a vivaciously wild life by this motto, and no amount of wise advice from your bestie will stop your fiery self from following your mind once it’s made. Regret is expected, and yet, it does not chase off your adventurous spirit. With a pocket full of fun memories made from these crazy nights roaming the streets and impromptu dance parties, you provide the most exciting stories for your friend group to hear. You are the definition of chaotic and spunky; every day is a movie. Just don’t engage with your ex’s sketchy texts.
Vampire
- For the girlies who scrutinize back on their toxic relationships and are shocked at how bad they were fooled!
Hindsight is golden when examining back your past behaviors in relationships, and sometimes you will be appalled at how you accepted such horrible treatment disguised as ‘love’. Energy vampires who suck the sparkling light and power from your eyes must be removed from your environment. Do not believe those tall, dark, and handsome older men who only chase fame and material wealth, using you as a step stool on the way to the top. You are a hopeless romantic who wishes for a whimsical fairytale romance, but instead you attract the mysterious villain who does not want a happy ending for you.
Lacy
- For the girlies who worship and obsess over a female icon and attempt to alter themselves to fit their image
Idol worship and Pinterest inspiration can take a toxic, obsessive turn when you focus too much on the flawlessness of others and the imperfections of yourself. Someone so effortlessly angelic, with silky hair fallen wonderfully in shape and being untiringly kind can irk your insecurities. It seems almost too good to be true and you are instantly suspicious of this gorgeous it-girl. Incessantly checking Instagram post’s likes, rechecking your appearance in the mirror to be perfect, and following the micro trends to resemble the popular crowd can be gasoline for an inferiority complex. Stop reconfiguring your genetic features to be a carbon copy! We are all messy humans in the end, so keep in mind that no one is made of angel dust.
Ballad of a homeschool girl
- Self explanatory: homeschool girlies who are naturally awkward at social interactions
As a former homeschooled child, I can unironically relate to this tale of public anxiety, socially fumbling, and the teenage struggle of finding where you fit in. This is a universally shared emotion of uncomfortableness when faced with foreign situations (aka parties) where you are standing awkwardly alone unable to socialize. If you are prone to oversharing with strangers instead of engaging in small talk, then you are apart of the gang who cannot understand communicative norms. The cringe is real, and honestly, that is not a character flaw but a relatable, loveable human trait.
making the bed
- For the girlies who self-destruct to hide their true feelings
Your life feels like an all-encompassing whirlwind suffocating you as you lose control. When lodged in a depressive state, you tend to shut out your reliable friends and family and implore self destructive behaviors to further isolate yourself. Escaping from inside a self-loathing loop can be difficult when you feel as though you have purposefully caused the problems upon yourself. “You made your bed, so lay in it” does not have to be so hopeless and harsh. Do not succumb to the self-deprecation, but accept that you simply made a bad decision and maturely move on to grow exponentially as an elevated person.
logical
- For the girlies who wish to see the best in people and gives the benefit of the doubt… even when others aren’t worthy
Bless your angelic soul for wanting to grant everyone the same assumption of innocence. Sadly, there have been people who have betrayed your gentle trust and manipulated your brain into thinking illogically. Emotionally abused until you feel responsible for the blame, you were lied to by a master magician with guilting words. Be wary of negatively charged accusations and strangers who are too-charming, as reality is not what they convince you of. You are an intelligent college woman who is teeming with potential and immense worth.
get him back!
- For the romantically indecisive girlies who fantasizes about getting the perfect revenge
You definitely were an avid Avril Lavigne fan as a tiny tot. Your club dress code: rocker chic ripped tights with angry punk girl jewelry. You frequently seesaw between extreme feelings of obsessive love and jealous hatred when handling a significant other. Simply tolerating toxic, mediocre dudes for the benefits they bring to the table because you believe “you can fix him” is a slippery slope. Your ultimate bittersweet plan is to enact revenge to make him crave you as deeply as you miss him. Smashing his mailbox, popping his tires… only followed by sending a tender, handwritten love letter. Perhaps try hanging out with yourself and finding inner contentment with the mere company of you alone. You are a passionate powerhouse standing on your own without a man weighing you down.
love is embarassing
- For the girlies who are insanely self aware when they are single, aka the ‘relationship advice wise friend’
You possess a covert superpower of being able to laugh off the silliness of your past mistakes. Wisdom is gained through learning the harsh way and you use your seemingly humiliating dating history as a guiding tool for others. Your best friends come flocking to your door for guru advice on young love, tricky relationships, and agonizing break ups. It is not a crime to wear your heart on your sleeve, so keep on taking scary risks of vulnerability and remain charitable with your love.
the grudge
- For the girlies still recovering from dating a cruel, heartless partner
If you resonate with this melancholy ballad, I am so sorry that an evil someone caused you so much anguish and hurt. Olivia’s somber melodies from SOUR are your comfort songs as you are haunted by the damage done from your last brutal relationship. Your memory is so cruel, as it eternally replays the most devastating moments of hurtful statements in arguments. I hope you will find comfort and peace knowing that you truly did no act wrong, as you cannot win against a cold-blooded, callous soul, even with all the well-intended dedication and strength that you displayed. Forgiveness is a choice, and you do not have to forgive to move on to happier roads.
pretty isn’t pretty
- For the girlies who feel constantly pressured to achieve impossible beauty standards
Growing up a 2000s baby has really damaged our perception of natural beauty. Pop magazines of over-edited beach babes, teen television shows where grown adults were cast as kids, and 6 feet tall runway models projected this image of what constitutes beauty… and it was unbelievably unattainable and unrealistic. This caused us to become self-conscious of what we looked like without makeup and how our bodies compared to those fabricated influencers on social media. The subliminal messages and inner criticism will never find perfection good enough, so you might as well shed the physical expectations and live freely with your innate gorgeous features.
teenage dream
- For the former gifted students who lost their childhood early and feel like they’ll never measure up to their younger self
Plainly existing as your raw, real self is a luxury you wish for. You are only in your young 20s, the pinnacle of fascinating youth, and yet you feel the nihilism viewpoint set inside your bones. Childhood symbolizes innocence and gentleness, with adulthood regarded as being a scary, cold reality. Maturity does not equal you losing your potential, attractiveness, or special qualities. You are inherently you, and your teenagedom does not define your success rate in the future. You are still just as worthy now as a confused young adult as you were as a shining spelling bee winner.