I love sayings like, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,” because they promote a mindset that there is always going to be somebody better to spend your time with. There always will be somebody who does things slightly different, maybe even better, than your significant other, but part of relationships are accepting people for who they are and standing by your significant other. Dating as an adult is just hard.
We all remember our first love, and how easy it was to blindly love them despite all their flaws, and red flags. After our first heartbreak we usually become more cautious and weary of a person’s flaws and intentions, we must avoid heart break. However, how nice was it to be able to blindly love somebody and just be happy? Now, as an adult you must not only take into consideration your baggage but, the baggage of your potential significant other. Which makes dating become harder with the older you become.
Learning to love somebody despite their flaws is hard, especially if you have been single for an extended period of time. This means you have become comfortable in your ways and are typically less forgiving of a significant other’s short comings. It’s hard to become accepting and to relearn how to solve issues within a relationship, but small compromises usually lead to a greater happiness.
Recently, I have been spending time with a guy who has never been in a committed relationship, which brings on a new slew of issues I never realized. Instead of him having less baggage he almost seems to have more because he does not know how to function as a couple. I waited until after the month of February had already started to find the courage to ask,
“Are we going to be each other’s Valentines?”
To which he responded,
“Yes! Thank you for reminding me. I don’t keep up with holidays like that. I would love to spend Valentine’s day with you!”
He has never had to remember a love-y holiday, so he sincerely would have forgotten. Which in the end would have upset me all because I was almost too focused on my own expectations? That’s pathetic. Now, he has been excited to plan out a big date for valentine’s day and won’t stop talking about it.
Dating as an adult is already hard, so why make it any harder. Change your expectations and choose to be happy. We can all be happy, if we accept that all people are human, and our lives aren’t some constructed fairy-tale movie that had twelve editors.