It’s safe to say that none of us were expecting the Coronavirus pandemic, and it was devastating for high school (and college) seniors everywhere to come to the conclusion that their Senior Spring would not be happening. I was a senior in high school, preparing for my spring break with friends, when it was announced that we would not be returning to campus for the rest of the academic year. Two days later, my boyfriend broke up with me. When I called him to try and understand, he made it very clear to me that I was no longer important to him, and having been my first long-term relationship, it broke my heart. Add the cancellation of school for the rest of the year, and you have my first month of quarantine.
Those first few weeks were definitely not my best. I was heartbroken, but I couldn’t see any of my friends because of the lockdown. I did the classic break-up routine: ate a lot of Ben and Jerry’s, laid in bed, cried… you know the drill. The only people I saw were my parents and my older brother, and though I love them, I missed my friends more than anything. I wanted to feel better immediately. Why would I miss someone who didn’t want me?
Slowly, because giving myself time to process and heal was essential, I realized that I didn’t miss him as much as I missed feeling loved. It was then that I began my upward trend. I got out of bed more, listened in my online classes, and recognized that I could feel loved by doing things that made me feel fulfilled. I just needed to figure out what those things were.
One thing that I began to do was make coffee and matcha in the mornings. Every morning, before my online classes started, I would make a hot coffee and sprinkle cinnamon into it (definitely try this, so good!). This helped to cheer me up in the mornings before sitting down at the computer. As a way to get out of the house, my mom and I drove thirty-five minutes to the nearest Whole Foods once a week to get an array of healthy snacks. I decided one day that I wanted to try and make matcha lattes at home instead of spending all my money at Dunkin’. So, I bought matcha powder and began to make it every afternoon when all my classes were done for the day, so I had less time to overthink.
Another thing that I would do, once it got a little warmer out, was have car hang-outs with friends. We would all drive to a central location from our homes, sit in the back of our cars, and talk. Seeing the people that love you, even from six feet away, can make the biggest difference. You’re reminded how lovable you actually are.
Since I was cooped up at home, I also had a lot of time to reflect on myself. I journaled, trying to come to terms with the things I was feeling. I talked to my parents, played backgammon with my dad, watched movies with my mom. I attempted to get closer to my brother, asking him if he wanted to go get coffee. But most importantly, I learned to be okay with doing things on my own. I went out (once it was safe, and always masked) and ate alone, shopped alone, drove around. I learned how to play a few songs on the piano. I did things for myself.
These activities are small, but they always put me in a good mood. Moving on doesn’t always come with huge lifestyle changes; sometimes, you just need to figure out what you can do to make yourself happy.