Five Unconventional & Uniquely Colgate Ways to Get Your Cookie Fix this Holiday Season

The Byrne Dairy Cookiewich is an absolute classic any time of year—or any time of day, for that matter. You could wake me up at 3 AM and simply whisper “there are cookiewiches up the hill” in my ear, and I would be out of bed and up that hill faster than a Coop employee makes a smoothie (pretty dang fast). If that doesn’t drive the point home, I could be frantically typing an essay moments before the deadline, but if you presented me with a fresh, melty Cookiewich, I would drop it all just to give Byrne Dairy the respect and reverence it deserves. What I’m trying to say is that Byrne Dairy is your ultimate destination for cookies near campus this holiday season and for all holidays to come. Like snaps from the Sky Bridge or the cute little outfits that Emerys sometimes wears, with cookiewiches, you simply can’t go wrong!

It doesn’t matter how old you think your Nanna’s super-secret, six-generation cookie recipe is, I guarantee it has nothing on these Ancient Roman Grape Must Cakes. Originally recorded by the Roman scholar Varro in approximately 800 B.C., this recipe is well over 2000 years old (that’s older than Colgate!). Glowingly reviewed by forced tasters from my archaeology class as “bread-y,” “meh,” and “did you forget to add sugar?”, these grape must cakes are sure to be the talk of your next holiday get together and the most disappointing treat Santa has ever received! So, what are you waiting for? Put on your grape mashing gloves, set your taste buds aside, and get ready for a real Roman holiday!

Frequent Frankers and Frank Fanatics, I’m talking to you for this one. Every true dining hall connoisseur knows that the best ice cream flavor in Frank is the coveted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. It’s evident every time you see the heartbreak on someone’s face as they flip open the freezer lid to find the Cookie Dough tub scraped clean while the chocolate, vanilla, and heaven forbid strawberry tubs sit pristinely around it. However, in the incredible instance that you do find yourself in the presence of some Cookie Dough ice cream, I recommend making the most of it and getting a wee bit crafty. Just for the thrill of it, I suggest scooping yourself an unnecessarily large bowl, removing all the cookie chunks, and experimenting with baking them in your common area’s oven. Some people may give you strange looks as you dissect your ice cream, but in the end, you’ll have cookies and they won’t, so ha!

In the unlikely case that all your fresh-baked plans fall through and you find yourself stuck with a cookie-shaped hole in your soul, there is still hope for you! Go, my child, to your nearest campus vending machine to slot 66 and let your cookie cravings melt away like the ice in a mini fridge unplugged in preparation for a long break. The Daisy’s Chocolate Chip Supreme Cookie that the machine spits out won’t be great, in fact, it won’t even be good, but it will help to fill the void. Perhaps if I bought them in any other context, they would be better, but for some reason, I find the idea of them sitting in the vending machine between dental floss and overpriced tampons for weeks at a time a little off-putting. I suppose they do make up for it a bit though by being the size of your face.

My final suggestion is more of a field trip and less of a snack than anything else. This holiday season, Hamilton’s own Colgate Inn and Maxwell’s Chocolates joined together to create the ultimate holiday treat: a six-foot gingerbread replica of the Colgate Inn complete with pretzel balconies, sugar-dusted pillars, and a candy cane-paved path to the front door. Hungry viewers might be tempted to sneak a piece off of the frosting-piped pines or the white chocolate chimneys, but I don’t recommend it unless you’re hoping to spend a large chunk of your holiday season with Hampo. Instead, I suggest purchasing your gingerbread treats from Maxwell’s and then popping over to the lobby of the Colgate Inn to munch on them as you take in (only with your eyes!) the majesty of what I like to call the Colgate Inn-gerbread house. Lovingly created by Jennifer of Maxwell’s Chocolates using more than 1,000 Necco wafers and more than 80 hours of labor, this sweet, sweet architectural feat truly is a Hamilton must-see for all cookie enthusiasts this holiday season!