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Dear Halle: Advice for Life in MoHi

Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Halle Liebman
Her Campus Placeholder Avatar Columbia Barnard Contributor
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Columbia Barnard chapter.

You asked for it…and here it is! Check below for the second installment of Her Campus Barnard’s very own advice column. The Upper West Side version of Dear Abby. This week, Halle answered the questions that students on campus anonymously submitted through our form!

 

1) I really want a dessert right now… where should I go to get one?

 

Oh girl, dessert is my jam (As is jam and bread…all things unhealthy)! If you’re lazy and don’t want to venture too far outside the Morningside bubble (like yours truly), then hit up Pinkberry for some froyo or Tea Magic for some bubble tea—both located on 112th and Broadway.  You can satisfy your carb cravings with some to-die-for pastries at the Hungarian Pastry Shop on 111th and Amsterdam, or even head down to Ben and Jerry’s on 104th and Broadway (for when you need to drown your sorrows in a pint or three of mint chocolate chip).

BONUS: If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, head down south to 87th and Columbus and go crazy at Momofuku Milk Bar and Macaron Parlour. You’ll experience the greatest sugar high of your life.  These babies are literally across the street from each other!  This makes it easy to:

  1. Hit up Momofuku for some cereal milk soft serve and birthday cake truffles… 
  2. Roll your belly across the street…
  3. Dive into a sea of Macaron Parlour’s cheetos-flavored macarons (yes, seriously)…
  4. Roll your belly back to campus for a well-deserved nap.

 

 

**WARNING: I am not legally responsible if you develop Type II Diabetes.

 

2) I don’t like cats! What should I do? – Allergies

 

Atone for your sins immediately! Clearly this cat allergy is a punishment for some horrendous act you committed in a previous life!  But no need to fret, my child.  Thanks to ~science~ you can pretty much cure your allergy with allergy shots.  Unclear if Obamacare covers this, but trust me, it’s worth it.  The payoff is a life full of love, lust, wonder, and 17 cats in a tiny New York apartment.

[Please do not call animal control to my house, okay?]

 

 

 

3) How would you describe each frat on campus?

 

Disclaimer: I am the worst person to ask, mainly because I often confuse the names of every frat and do not care to correct myself.  Case in point: I thought Delta Sig was called “Sig Delt” for almost all of last year…

Regardless, here is what I have learned (or misheard, misinterpreted, or just made up entirely):

 

 

–  Lambda:  Lovely people; they offer you water and snacks upon entrance.  

–  AEPI:  Where all my friends go to find NJB’s (Nice Jewish Boyz). 

–  Sig Chi:  Football?

–  KDR:  Basketball?

–  Delta Sig:  Squash?  Just kidding, but these guys are pretty fancy, and most of them probably did play squash in high school.  You’ll also find a good amount of GS guys and European men with cigarettes here.

–  Beta:  Their house is red and blue—obviously featured in Architectural Digest.

–  Sig Nu:  Mostly swimmers, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say all members of Sig Nu are buoyant! #foxy

–  Sig Ep:  Bro, have you seen my lacrosse stick or my financial economics textbook?

–  Fiji:  Surprisingly nothing like the island of Fiji.

–  Pike:  Scandalous. Or at least says the bathroom door on the 4th floor of Butler.

 

 

SUBMIT MORE QUESTIONS HERE! 

 

* This article is a personal piece and does not reflect the views of Her Campus Barnard or Her Campus Media. *

 

 

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