It’s October, which means a few different things. Most importantly, you’ve been at school for about a month, and you’ve completely run out of romantic prospects on campus. Enter dating apps.
Tinder has been on the scene for a while, but it has only recently become more acceptable to actually meet up with people you find on the app. As per usual, a large part of the gay community has been doing this for ages, and the rest of the world is showing up late to the party and pretending they misread the Facebook event information.
When I was a kid, we would get toy catalogs delivered to our house. As soon as a new one arrived, I would grab my markers, sit on the big armchair, and go to town. I’d circle zip lines, moon bounce shoes, and rock polishers, all the while knowing that I’d never actually get them. Dating apps are the new toy catalogs — you get a chance to see what is out there, fantasize about what could be, and feel like you’re in control by declaring what you want.
Part of the reason that it may have taken us ladies so long to roll through is the fear of the creepy, criminal “catfish”. I know that I can always rely on my mom to reach out to me after any public safety crime notification or if any bad breaking news drops about any woman in any part of New York. If a woman is followed three blocks in suburban Queens by someone who turns out to just be returning her dropped book, my mom calls me immediately. While it is no surprise that women are more susceptible to these sorts of dangers than men, it doesn’t mean that you have to hole yourself up in your room and declare celibacy; it just means that you have to be smart about things. If the age listed says “23,” but the pictures shown are of someone who was 23 in 1993, then you should probably swipe left.
Some other instances where I’ve swiped left? I came across one person’s main picture that showed them naked, bald, with an emoji toucan placed over their genitals. But maybe you’re into that! One person had a picture that was just a white screen that said “Spoiler alert: God wins”. I can respect it, but it’s not what I’m looking for in a Tinder date. One person’s bio read: “I’m looking for people who want the new definition of ‘sex’ to be [explicit sex act redacted].” But again, maybe you’re into that.
The nice thing about Tinder (not true of some of the other apps like The League, which seems elitist, but maybe you’re into that?) is that anyone can join. And, whatever you’re into, there’s probably someone on Tinder who is into it too. I went on my first actual Tinder date recently — I was just looking for someone I would hook up with hypothetically and could hold a conversation with definitely. And it was chill! I don’t know that anything more will come of it, but, when I’m sitting at 1020, bemoaning the fact that the internationals aren’t hitting on me, it’s nice to know that I have another 899 (and growing) matches who I can talk to at the swipe of a finger.