Collegiettes, I have a saddening confession to make: every year on Halloween, I turn into a basic bitch. You know, those girls utterly lacking in costume-creativity, yet who still roll out like their costume is the best thing they’ve ever seen – despite the fact that they match about 100 other girls. The other 364 days of the year I take pride in my sense of style. I try to be edgy, creative, smart. Come Halloween I’m not sure what happens but it’s certainly not good.Â
I’ve made some major misteps. I’ve been some variation of a cat (leopard, lion, sexy cat, cat woman, you name it) for Halloween every year since freshman year of highschool – except the one year in which I went the cowgirl route – marginally better at best. Anyway, this year I’m making a serious effort to right those wrongs. And I’m going to tell you all how you can too (because if I have to change my ways, so does everybody else). Follow these 5 easy steps, and you’re well on your way to not being basic.
Make sure animal ears, vampire teeth, or a pointy hat are not the only thing differentiating your “costume” from a clubbing outfit
“I’m a mouse, duh.”
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If you were planning on being the “sexy” version of a completely legitimate and not-at-all sexual career (cop, firefighter, nurse, librarian, etc.) plz stop
Like why you gotta take somebodies livelyhood and ruin it like that?
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If your costume involves you wearing Uggs… bye.
No no no.
Don’t buy your costume from the bottom floor of Ricky’s or some other bad costume emporium
“Sexy After School Special School Girl Costume.” This cost $50. FIFTY DOLLARS.
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Don’t be “Waldo”
Just don’t. Like everybody and their mom is Waldo every year and I’m sick of it, ya hear? SICK OF IT. Cut it out.
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