Thankfully, there’s much less competition in college than in high school – but unfortunately, that doesn’t mean it’s nonexistent. In high school, competition is blatant and among everyone; you’re all competing for the same end goal, after all. But in college, competition changes shape. You hear passive-aggressive murmurings about “that kid that killed the curve” in your calculus class; you wonder why the professor of your 200-person lecture knows that student’s name and not yours; and you try your hardest to make sure your professor knows just how much work you alone put into your group project. But by far the worst and most cutting type of competition is that among your friends.
It’s a complicated, guilt-ridden type of competition that comes out especially when you’re in the same class. An innocent “What did you get?” can lead to a friend’s subtle smile or downtrodden frown towards their own paper or exam, but you don’t want to be rude by avoiding the question. You study together, teaching the other the concepts you understand best, but when it comes to exam time you’re stealing glances to see who’s farther ahead.
So how do you avoid talking about grades with the people you share everything with? The easiest but least practical solution is to avoid taking classes together; but let’s be honest, seeing your friend is most certainly the only thing getting you out of bed for your 9 am biology lecture. So if a friend asks you a question about a grade that you’re not comfortable answering, just say so; something so trivial won’t actually endanger a true friendship. (And if you’re the friend that always asks, be mindful of how your friends react to the questions and be respectful of their privacy!) When you study with friends, make sure it’s an encouraging environment that celebrates both yours and your friend’s knowledge of the topic; make the exam an inclusive experience by saying “We’re going to do great!” All in all, it’s always good to take a step back and put your situation in perspective: if one of you is applying to med school, another to law school, and another to the Peace Corps, why can’t you all do well? And even if it so happens that you and your friend are both applying wherever, the chances that the acceptance will come down between the two of you is slim to none.
A little competition is good because it keeps you striving to do your best, but you should always strive to help and not hinder those you love the most. And remember, the bottom line is that they’re still your friends – so go out with them to celebrate that A, baby!