Having a lot of friends is fun when you have time to hang out with everyone. As you grow up, you begin to realize it’s only a small few who really matter. Distancing yourself from some friends is a natural thing when you start a new chapter, but here are a few friends I suggest you let go of first.
1. That friend who expects everything to come easy to them
We’ve all known one in our lives – the girl who believes in simply marrying a rich man, or the guy who thinks paying people to do his projects actually makes him more successful. Well, as much as you may just roll your eyes at them in CEGEP, in university it’s a whole other deal. University is a fast-paced environment with a lot less time to deal with other people’s bull (excuse my language). If you’re in university, it’s because you’re prepared to work hard to get that degree and acquire the knowledge you need for the future. Imagine what your role in their life will become when they find out they actually need to do the work, or can’t pay someone to take the final worth 70 per cent for them. What will happen when they realize they’re bored because all their friends are in university and they’re sitting on their butt at home? You would not only be their friend, you would become their life coach, their private tutor, or even their academic advisor because they are too lazy to do the research themselves. Letting a friend go is never easy, but it is definitely worth it when it comes to your own success.
2. That friend who may be toxic to your life
You know that friend who slips comments or writes really long texts that make your heart jump – in the bad way? If it’s not a text to you, then it’s to an ex, another friend, or just gossiping about a girl they have never even met. This type of friendship is called a toxic friendship. In university, you’ll be having enough emotional breakdowns all on your own, you really don’t need that negativity coming from another source. According to PsychologyToday.com, here are a few questions to ask yourself if you think you may be involved in a toxic friendship:
When you’re with the person, do you usually feel content, even energized? Or do you often feel unfulfilled and drained?
After you spend time with him or her, do you usually feel better or worse about yourself?
Do you feel physically and or emotionally safe with this person, or do you ever feel threatened or in danger?
Is there a fairly equal “give and take,” or do you feel like you’re always giving and he or she is always taking?
Is the relationship characterized by feelings of security and contentment, or drama and angst?
Do you feel like he or she is happy with who you are, or do you feel like you have to change to make him or her happy?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then this is a friend who you should absolutely distance yourself from. This is your time. You got into your school because you worked hard, and are prepared to work even harder. It’s time to get involved, to get the best grades you can and meet as many new people as you can. Don’t let a toxic friendship get in the way of that.
3. That friend who parties all the time
We all have that friend who is way too into clubbing. At least twice a week, he or she is out ordering bottle service and updating their Snapchat until 5 a.m. Once you hit university, you need to cut back on partying a little bit, for your grades’ sake and your wallet’s sake. Distancing yourself a bit from the party girl or boy might really help you focus on school, better your health and save you some money. This way, when you do have time to go out, maybe you’ll choose to go drinking at a school event where you can meet new people, or hang out at a bar and have some nice conversations with your closest friends. These scenarios are much more rewarding than drinking yourself silly at an expensive club full of strangers.
University is a difficult step in your educational path, but it can be really fun and rewarding. Re-evaluate the people who surround you, and really make sure those you invest your in are worth it. It’s okay to realize that you’re better off without some people in your life and now is the best time to make that decision. Trust me, you probably won’t even have time to feel bad about it.