If you have been a communication studies student for more than a year, you have now realized how repetitive some authors and ideologies are. I swear if I hear anything more about Michel Foucault, I am going to lose it! All my classes seem to intertwine in terms of the books and authors they throw at us in the syllabus.
A woman I have heard multiple times about is Betty Friedan, from cultural classes to gender analysis, this woman’s name just keeps popping up like an unsolicited YouTube ad. The number of references made about her popular piece The Feminine Mystique both amazed and annoyed me. Having not read the book at first, I thought it was irrelevant. Why were teachers basing 2017 course material on a book that was nearly fifty-five years old? Well I got tired of reading snippets and being thrown random quotes from her book and decided to read the whole thing for myself. I figured that with two more years in university, her work was bound to come back in future discussions. I went to the school library, picked the most authentic version of her work (there are a few annotated copies and modern memoirs of the book featuring the same title) and started my journey.
I am not one to do book reviews. With my hectic schedule, reading seems like a task that can only be done with the goal to highlight references that’ll be used in upcoming essays. But this book deserves a read! As soon as I opened it, I could not put it down. You could catch me reading at the bus stop, in the shuttle, during work breaks, in-between tasks, etc. After spending a year believing the book was overrated, I had to bow down to Queen Friedan. Her use of words was beginner friendly, but her analogies and analyses were thorough and clear. She spoke to women, as a woman, about issues that were troubling them in the 50s and 60s, but I believe her message can still be translated in today’s world.
A bit of context: The Feminine Mystique’s goal was to approach the mystery behind women’s identity in the mid-twentieth century. Historically, women had been sent back to their homes after World War II and were bombarded with advertisements that made home ironically their dungeon and source of pride and joy. They were told by specialists, the media, their relatives and fellow women that their place was the house and that there was no greater joy than being a wife and a mother. What Friedan uncovered, is that although these women loved their husbands and children, they were restlessly unfulfilled. She wrote the book as an attempt to discuss this feeling of inadequacy that women of the time were starting to experience and she wanted to create space for a solution. Her words demystify the tangled emotions of the housewife and translate them into a need for a deeper purpose. With her accounts of the early feminist movements, she reinstates that women can do so much more than sew, cook and bear children. She encourages young women to seek for a purpose that is greater than caring for her own, but that actually drives them.
Although the book was published in 1963, it carries lessons that are relevant no matter the generation. Without bashing women’s aspirations to be wives and mothers, she strongly recommends not to be afraid to go after your own dreams: a career, a mission, a degree, etc. Today’s society is much more forgiving of women deciding to have children late and focus on their career, but there is still a stigma that they must fulfill their biological duty as early as possible.
We live in a world where a gifted woman like Rihanna (philanthropist, artist, business woman, etc.) can succeed in so many levels of her career, and yet still get badgered with questions about her personal life. Red carpets are full of successful women, but our interest does not go further than who they are dating now, who are they wearing, or what their new hairstyle is. It’s unfortunate because I sometimes believe we live in a society where women only truly have it all once they get the man. The pressures have changed over the decades; we are no longer expected to hide in our kitchens and do three hours of vacuuming. But we are not off the hook either when it comes to childbearing, marriage and overall appearance. In the documentary Miss Representation, Nancy Pelosi dished about her time in politics and said that when she was running for congress, she dealt with questions about her children. Pelosi commented about her campaign: “Although my kids were grown and the youngest one was a senior in high-school, all the journalists seemed to care about was who was going to raise my children (…) They would have never asked a man that”. Her experience, as well as other powerful women’s positions, proves that there is still a certain expectation for women in today’s society.
Friedan gave the women of the 50s a voice . Existential questions about our future career, children and love life are still ongoing. Even with successful young girls, there is still this awkward pressure after you overturn your mid-twenties to find a mate and settle down before they have reached their biological purpose’s peak. As a conservative gal, marriage and children are an important part of my future, but so is a good career and a purposeful goal. The Feminine Mystique offers words of wisdom about how to conquer the different dilemmas young women faced in the past and still face today. The book is a great historical piece that sheds light on the evolution of women’s rights and entices us to never stop wanting better for ourselves.