On this year’s Valentine’s Day, I had the opportunity to attend Concordia’s “Sexpo”, Sexpress Yourself, hosted by the Concordia Undergraduate Psychology Association (CUPA) in partnership with BSA, JSA and WSSA. This event took place in the SP building at the Loyola campus and the student associations partnered up with boutique Fantasia as well as sex-related organizations, Alternative Lifestyles Community Center (ALCC) and the Sexual Assault Resource Center (SARC).
The goal of this annual event is to destigmatize sex, make it more accessible to talk about in an open environment, educate students on safe sex and feed students’ curiosity about different practices that can take place in the bedroom. This was done through presentations from professionals in the field. It’s also a sex positive event that encourages students to learn and ask questions about their sexual curiosities in a no judgement environment, and explores the conceptual idea of expressing your sexuality.
So, for those of you who didn’t get a chance to check it out, here is what went down during the day and what you can look forward to at next year’s event:
1. Speakers
There were three presentations of about an hour each throughout the day, each speaking about different sex-related topics. By attending one of them you received a free goodie bag with sex toys in it!
Empress Mystique & ALCC: BDSM Seminar
In the first part of this seminar, Empress Mystique, a professional dominant in the field, explained what BDSM consists of and common misconceptions. She explained how BDSM has many different levels of intensity as well as different practices tied into it such as bondage, discipline, role play, electrical play, and more. Another great point she mentioned is how everyone has their own reasons for doing this, and they are all valid. For example, someone who is always in control of everything in his or her life with a lot of stress may feel the need to let go completely and be a submissive in the bedroom. Essentially, BDSM is all about paying attention to the other’s body language – every cringe or gasp – because you are playing with natural endorphins and you want to try and give your partner the best natural high.
The second part of the seminar was with a representative from the ALCC who gave us a basic explanation of rules, tips and resources from this community. Some examples of rules are that everything that takes place is consensual, there is a color code of green, yellow, red to warn when a limit is being pushed, and all rules are made by the submissive, not the dominant. The tips are suggested to ensure you have complete trust in your partner or else you will never truly be able to let go. The representative discussed that your safe word should be something completely out of context like “bubble gum” and never the word “no”, and making sure to do extensive research or attend workshops about bondage before introducing it into the bedroom because even the simplest of tying can result in cutting off circulation if not performed correctly. Finally, resources he gave us for more information were their website www.thealcc.org , and www.fetlife.com a social media for all things kink.
Dr. Pfaus: Is Pornography an Addiction or an OCD?
Dr. Pfaus is a researcher for the Center for Studies in Behavioral Neurobiology (CSBN) and psychology professor at Concordia University. His talk began with stories in the media that have been present in the past about celebrities with pornography “addictions”. He continued with explaining the influence of pornography in different cultures. The bulk of the seminar focused on what addiction actually is and if pornography addiction fits the addiction criteria. He explained how topics like tolerance and withdrawal are difficult to link to the supposed pornography “addiction”
Simon Dube: Love and Sex with Robots: Ethical Dilemmas
Dube is a Masters student at Concordia University working under the supervision of Dr. Pfaus. His talk focused on a chronological explanation on how pornography, sexual toys and fantasies became such a profitable industry. He transitioned from the history of sex to the future of sex. With the rapid advancement of technology and the sexual industry continuously growing, Dube explained how new sexual technology has a very appealing image to it in terms of accessibility (e.g. virtual reality pornography). The downside to this future is the decrease of human interactions and how this could affect one’s mental abilities and processes.
2. Booths
ALCC
At this booth, they gave extensive information on BDSM as well as provided demonstrations with certain toys. Yes, you heard that correctly, Empress Mystique was there and allowed students to experience the feeling of flogging, with their consent of course.
ACCM (AIDS Community Care Montreal)
The ACCM was there to talk about safe sex, particularly about HIV and AIDS as this are the sexually transmitted diseases they specialize in. They also are fighting to decriminalize HIV as it is currently a crime to transmit it under certain situations, therefore many people don’t get tested because they don’t want to be charged. They also had the activity of putting a condom on a dildo in a box.
Fantasia
Fantasia is a sex shop whose representatives were present at the event and who provided the free goodie bags for those who attended the presentations. They also hosted a raffle with different tiers of prizes to be won. For only $1 you could participate for the chance to win a vibrator or a cock ring! Also, they were giving information about sex toys to those interested, and also explained their house party service, where you can hire them for a bachelorette party for example, and a representative comes over to give a presentation of toys with a chance to win free gifts.
Head and Hands
Head and hands is an organization based in NDG, which offer a lot of youth services, and they were present at this event to talk about the biology behind sex as well as safe sex
Clinique A
Clinique A is a free clinic which provides services related to sexual health, and they were at the event to promote and offer their services to students.
SARC
SARC was there to raise awareness about the services they offer as well as their workshops at Concordia. They also answered anyone’s questions and provided suggestions and tips on what to do if you’re stuck in a bad situation.
Queer Concordia
Queer Concordia had a booth as well at this event, providing information to students about the importance of expressing your sexuality, no matter your sexual orientation.
To conclude, this event was very enlightening and I recommend it to all students!