If you are an English student like me, you know that sometimes there are “good” books that are just impossible to appreciate. This is especially true when your professor gives you two days to get through seven of the most dense and incomprehensible chapters you have ever had the misfortune of staring at blankly. Although I do love to read (most of the time), I have an equal (or perhaps greater) love for reading one-star reviews on Goodreads.Â
I know that hating things is typically frowned upon socially, but there truly is no bond stronger than two people who hate the same thing. Research even shows that people develop stronger connections when discussing a shared dislike than when discussing a shared positive interest. So, in the effort of strengthening the community of readers at Connecticut College, here are some of my favorite one-star reviews of popular literature:
- Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
-
“Writing this was a crime and reading it was a punishment.” – Kim “Men will literally commit murder to test their inane philosophical theories instead of going to therapy” – S“It’s like an old person trying to tell you a story.” – Oliver Smith“Some crime but not enough punishment :(” – Sasha - Pride and Prejudice by jane austen
-
“Jesus Christ, just have sex.” – Nika “Hatred is too strong an emotion to waste on this literary Twilight.” – Lady Nerd“I can’t remember the last time I told a paperback to shut up.” – John“Just a bunch of people going to each other’s houses.” – Helena
- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
-
“Did I read this wrong?” – Yilina “Seriously? I’ll settle for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Jeesh…” – Vaishali “The Great Gatsby is not so great.” – Angel “Oh if only I cared what rich white people were up to.” – 
- Catcher in the Rye By J.d. Salinger
-
“In my hand I hold $5. I will give it to anyone who can explain the plot of this book (or why there is no plot) and make me understand why the hell people think it’s so amazing.” – Madeline“A spell in the army would do that young man a power of good! Or maybe a couple bags of heroin. Anything to stop that whining voice…” – Paul - Ulysses by james joyce
-
“I can’t do it. It fell in my toilet and didn’t dry well. I’m accepting it as an act of god. I decided against burning it, and just threw it out.” – Jimmy“I think if there is a hell, God, in his infinite wisdom will make everyone in hell read this book forever (which is how long it seemed to take me to get through it!!). – Marialyce “This might as well be the first results of the 100 monkeys with typewriters theory.” – Peter“I’m gonna bring James Joyce back to life just so I can kill him again.” – Said“If you find yourself with as much time as James Joyce had to write this book, use it for something more productive than reading it because you will lose the will to read.” – Rebekka
- Inferno by dante
-
“Basically Dante wrote self-insert Bible fan fiction where there are Roman mythological figures?? And him and Virgil are best buddies??” – Red“This book could be used to torture me in hell.” – Alicia“If there was a tenth circle of hell it would be filled with people slogging through this poem.” – Alicia“Religious fear-mongering at its finest.” – Elizabeth“Tough to read. I mostly only got the fart jokes.” – Rachel“This was neither divine nor a comedy.” – Michelle