When I’m not busy with schoolwork, clubs, work, and everything else college life entails, I have recently been finding myself obsessed with Dance Moms. I don’t know if it’s because it feels crazier than even the most insane parts of my life, because the drama is entertaining, or because the dances are fun to watch, but it’s such a fun show to put on when I get a minute. To be fully clear, I do not condone or in any way support the way Abby Lee treated the girls on the show, and there are some episodes that are so upsetting I cannot even watch them. Teaching anything to children—or really, anyone—should never involve yelling, pitting kids against each other, body shaming, or bringing anyone down. Despite that, though, I cannot pretend it isn’t entertaining, especially when the drama involves the moms and not the kids.
I will admit I have not seen every episode of the show, and I have seen more of some seasons than others. Despite that, though, I do have a ranking in my head—I do not pretend this is objective in any way, but it will hopefully be fun! Additionally, I will not be including the eighth season of the show, as I have not seen any of it. In my ranking, I will be explaining why I put the seasons where they are, some highlights, lowlights, iconic moments, and my favorite group and solo dance from the season… as a person who knows nothing about dance.
#1 Season 2: This season, to me, feels like the peak of the show. The drama was mostly entertaining, there were so many iconic moments, and the dances were fun. It is just the most enjoyable season overall.
Highlights: Paige winning her first solo and making it to the top of the pyramid, Nia making it to the top of the pyramid, Maddie dancing through her music skipping, and Chloe winning nationals with her “Silence” solo.
Lowlights: Maddie having a panic attack after forgetting her solo, the highly age-inappropriate group dance in one of the episodes, Paige and Brooke being injured and in pain, Nia forgetting her dance after not having enough time to practice it.
Iconic Moments: Jill’s costume tantrum (she is not “Becky Home-Ecky!”), Nia’s “Working Girl” solo, Chloe’s hope that Abby did not “literally” mean they would blow the competition away “because we could get disqualified,” Vivi cutting her finger on her mom’s ring (she could still dance!)
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Beach Fun” from Episode 10—it’s really fun to watch, and the girls looked like they enjoyed it. Solo: Tie between Chloe’s “Silence” from the nationals episode and Nia’s “Working Girl” from episode 20. “Silence” is just so pretty, and it was amazing to see Chloe win, and Nia slayed in “Working Girl.” It was so entertaining.
#2 Season 1: This season is, simply, iconic. There are so many funny moments, iconic dances, and great quotes. I remember watching this while sick when I was younger, and it was just hilarious.
Highlights: Chloe dancing through her headpiece falling down, Brooke slaying all her solos, Maddie’s “Cry” dance.
Lowlights: The inappropriate “Electricity” dance (the song is great, though, I can’t lie), Chloe forgetting her dance at nationals, Paige forgetting her first solo.
Iconic Moments: Vivi’s “Honeybee” solo, Brooke’s ugly costume, Mackenzie wanting to “stay home and eat chips,” Abby fearing one of the girls would do a side aerial and “fall 13 stories down and die.”
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Party, Party, Party” from the first episode—honestly, I didn’t love any of the group dances from this season (which may be because it was fairly short), but this one was super fun and I loved the little confetti throw they did. Solo: Maddie’s “Cry” from episode 2 is just iconic, and she killed it.
#3 Season 3: This season was also very entertaining, though the drama involved the kids a bit more than the first two seasons in some occasionally upsetting ways.
Highlights: The “Golddigga” dance winning with Mackenzie even though Abby told her she would be bad in it, Nia’s amazing work with the “Rosa Parks” role, and just all the iconic dances.
Lowlights: Paige forgetting her solo, Paige and Chloe clearly losing confidence and being put down constantly, Chloe/Maddie and Mackenzie/Asia being compared and pitted against each other.
Iconic Moments: Asia in general, Holly (who is usually the calmest of the moms) calling Abby a “monstrosity of evil,” Abby Lee taxidermying her dog (and Nia being worried she was going to bring it to the competition), “I’ll slam whatever I want.”
My Favorite Dances: Group Dance: I love “Country Cuties” from Episode 36—it is so entertaining, and Mackenzie’s hand walk (even though she fell) was super cool. Even though I don’t like the name, “Golddigga” from Episode 13 is also super fun, and it feels different than most of their dances because it was choreographed by someone else. Solo: Mackenzie’s “Dance Doctor” from the nationals episode is so fun to watch—she absolutely killed it. Also, even though she was only on the show for a few episodes, Sophia’s “New Reality” from Episode 2 was incredible.
#4 Season 4: This season kind of felt like the last “good” season—not that any of them were good, theme or content wise, but the first three sure were entertaining. This one clearly showed some of the girls seriously losing confidence, which was upsetting, and several of the original team members leaving kind of set the show up to fail. However, it was fun to watch the girls become better dancers as they got a bit older. I will admit, this is the first season I have seen less (but not none) of.
Highlights: The winning nationals group dance, a lot of great solos
Lowlights: Abby sabotaging Chloe and Paige’s duet, the Hylands leaving, Chloe being treated horribly and being set up to fail, Kelly and Abby’s fight (I know a lot of people consider this a funny moment, but I do not given how clearly traumatizing it was to the kids, who had to see it), Abby’s highly inappropriate and disturbing conduct with Maddie in relation to her first kiss and it being part of a dance
Iconic Moments: Chloe beating Kamryn at nationals even though she was meant to lose
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Amber Alert” from the nationals episode., Solo: Tied between Mackenzie’s “Out Of My Mind” from episode 26 and Maddie’s “Birthday” from episode 1. It was cool to see Mackenzie do something a little different than her usual (though really fun) cute dances, and I really like the song, and Maddie’s emotion, during “Birthday.” was amazing.
#5 Season 7: Honestly, I haven’t seen too much of this season, but I really like some of the dances, and it was nice to see Chloe come back and the girls get away from Abby toand start doing their own thing.
Highlights: The girls getting away from Abby a little bit, and honestly, the show ending (every single one of those girls deserved better), Chloe coming back
Lowlights: “The Last Dance” from episode 24 seemed really inappropriate and was uncomfortable to watch. It isn’t as bad as some of the inappropriate dances in the early seasons because the girls were at least older by this season, but it still was uncomfortable and I did not like seeing it.
Iconic Moments: The girls winning their last nationals, a lot of really pretty group dances.
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Blush and Bashful” from episode 9 and episode 14’s “Is There Still Hope?—“ looking back on it, some of the character portrayals in the latter are quite offensive and problematic, but the emotions and meaning of the dance are really good and literally everyone killed it. “Blush and Bashful” is just beautiful. Solo: Nia’s winning “I Need No One” nationals solo— she KILLED it and it was amazing to see her finally have a nationals solo. And she won!
#6 Season 5: There were some good moments in this season and some good dances, but overall it was just… not as good as everything before it.
Highlights: Mackenzie’s solos slaying this season, Mackenzie beating Maddie for the first time (both are amazing, but it was so fun to see Mackenzie get that confidence boost after Abby never believing in her)
Lowlights: Honestly, not having half of the original team. Also—and this is my personal opinion with the understanding that, like all the girls, she was probably forced to say and do certain things for the sake of the show—I found Jojo Siwa really annoying.
Iconic Moments: Nia dancing amazingly even though her music skipped, some of the group dances
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Stomp the Yard” from episode 3 is so much fun and super entertaining. Solo: I actually have a three way tie for this one because I can’t choose! It’s a toss up between Maddie’s “The Woods,” (Episode 29) Nia’s “Never Knew,” (Episode 18) and Kendall’s “It’s All An Illusion” (Episode 24). “The Woods” is just beautiful, and Maddie portrayed the character really well, “Never Knew” was also gorgeous, and it felt like it actually suited Nia more than a lot of her solos, and— while I can’t say I’ve ever loved Kendall’s dances, she killed “It’s All an Illusion!”
#7 Season 6: I honestly have just hardly seen this season, and what I have seen wasn’t great. Bringing in the younger team was understandable, but the drama was just not the same, and it usually put way too much pressure on the kids.
Highlights: Some pretty good group dances—“Boss Ladies” from episode 18 was iconic, and some good solos
Lowlights: A lot of the pressure the younger kids faced, and a lot of the drama involving the kids way too much
Iconic Moments: I am going to have to go with “Boss Ladies,” mostly because I cannot think of much else. I’d also honestly say Maddie and Mackenzie leaving the show, because they both deserved so much better.
My Favorite Dances: Group: “Suicide Hotline” was just stunning and actually a good portrayal of the topic (which does NOT always happen with heavier dances on the show). Solo: I have to be honest—I had to Google solos for this season to remember literally any of them, but I would say Maddie’s “Lizzie Borden” from episode 10 because her acting was amazing.
Overall, even though Dance Moms is a trainwreck and is undoubtedly full of issues- especially in how the girls on the show were mistreated– it is fun to watch the entertaining dances, and, well, the drama is funny sometimes. It is not a show I recommend getting into, but it is certainly my guilty pleasure show.