It’s called “pulling” an all-nighter for a reason. You’re not easily pushing something downhill. Instead, it’s like you’re pulling the heaviest object in the world up Libe Slope — with no wheels, while wearing heels. Here’s the 16 stages of pulling an all-nighter that you’ll experience as a collegiette at Cornell:
1) Grab some coffee, a Pepsi Max, or a 5-hour Energy from Libe Café or your favorite late-night eatery. Fully caffeinated now, you’re ready to go.
2) Spend some time looking for your study spot. Yup, unless you have great self-discipline (doubtful since you’re in this situation) or have an amazing roommate who will stay up with you all night, you better not try it in your room. On campus it is.
3) You find your spot and lay everything out. Then you procrastinate by texting your BFF. Yes, it is necessary right now.
4) You open your laptop and get lost in it by procrastinating on Facebook, Tumbler, and Pinterest. (Hey, my dorm room totally needs a makeover!)
5) You plan to check your e-mail for just a minute, and you end up getting totally lost somewhere in your inbox. (That’s work, right?)
6) You look at the assignment and realize how much work you have head of yourself and decide that it’s finally best to start it.
7) But before actually starting, you double check that it’s actually due tomorrow… uhh… TODAY… and hope to find an e-mail from your professor magically pushing back the deadline for everyone in your class. But no, there is not one.
8) You put on your favorite Pandora radio station on and get down to business.
9) After working for a while, you start to feel cold, no matter what the temperature in the room is, and you put on your jacket and wear it inside.
10) You’re finally in the groove, and you’ve been working straight for so long, that your Pandora stops playing music and asks if you’re still listening. Yes, “yes I am still very much listening,” you confirm.
11) You start to get hungry since you’ve gone at least 6 hours without food and have to settle for food from the vending machine. (I guess it’ll do…)
12) You take a short nap in a public area on a couch(ish) piece of furniture and have your friend’s friend wake you up after 10 minutes. Then have her come back again in 5 minutes since you refused to get up the first time.
13) You’re now up and back at work. If you’re not in a windowless room (how miserable would that be?!), you slowly start to see the sun rise over the east part of campus.
14) You hurry the end of your work to submit it before getting ready for your first class. Sweet victory‼
15) You realize that you have to go home to get changed since you can’t be spotted wearing the same outfit two days in a row‼ (And take a shower, get the cell phone charger, etc.)
You arrive at your first class 5 minutes late. You take the closest empty seat to the door, trying to make your tardiness go unnoticed. You struggle to stay awake but fall asleep in class. *Sigh…*