We all know that the official hints of fall are right around the corner as the temperature drops and the leaves start to turn color around the edges. These two signs of change are exciting, but one aspect of this transition is right around the corner. You might have guessed it, but it’s almost cuffing season for all the singles out there! Don’t feel pressured for any type of relationship, but to lighten this unfortunate expectation I am going to discuss the unusual red flags that one should keep an eye out for in a variety of contexts. The following opinions are not meant to be taken seriously and are in no way meant to be offensive. The following is written to not target a specific gender or specific orientation. With that in mind, let us dive in.
At the top of the list, we have one of my favorites.
1.) Someone who Swears by the Three-in-One Products
While being a fellow broke college student, I understand how tempting this marketing may be due to the price. However, this product itself is not the ideal move for the purpose of taking care of one’s body. This particular mixture in my very professional opinion will not cleanse and focus on the aspects it should. The fact that one would own this product is a clear indication that that person does not have enough time or energy to fully care about consequences. If someone does not have the patience to take care of their body, how are they going to be able to make time for you? On the flip side, a proud user would say they would have plenty of time due to cutting corners with this terrible cleaning concoction.
In close second
2.) The Heartless
I could totally go off on a tangent about the importance of key sappy movies, but I will not for the sake of this question:. For those of you who hate sappy movies, “How are you doing while trying to bottle up any hint of emotion?” Yes, I am calling you out. Sappy movies are not made for purely the plot but to target one’s heart strings. If you can’t enjoy the guilty pleasures of sappy movies…. There’s the door.
For those seeking new arrangements:
3.) “I See Red”
I don’t think I quite need to go into the meaning behind the red LED lights. In the sense of politeness, keep in mind to stay safe and have fun with the sexual energy at hand. As for the negative outlook, make sure that you and the individual are seeking the same type of connection. Save yourself either the disappointment or hurt that this red flag can potentially bring.
4.) Saturdays are for the Boys
I don’t think I quite need to go into detail about this, but am I going to go off on a rant? Absolutely. If someone has this on their wall, it only slightly screams to the viewer “Toxic masculinity”. Yes, it is valid for there to be a girls night, a boys night, or a gender neutral night, but the need for this message does not need to be plastered up in a room for decoration. The undertones of the colors indirectly plasters the themes of a patriarchal society in a not-so-hot way.
5.) The Timely Texter
We have all met one of these before. These individuals have a tendency to only respond or open messages at an ungodly time. Everyone does have a busy schedule, but if someone doesn’t reply to a text or notification 12 hours later, it is clear that there is an intent to be dismissive. Phones are glued to our hips in today’s society. There is no reason to ignore a message for that long on a regular basis. This is totally irrelevant if there’s a huge time difference between the people. On the opposite side, we also have those who send a message at 12am and on for reasons that are not concerning. Some of these non-concerning texts could be “R U UP?” “Wanna come over?” “What are you up to?”. These people do not seem to understand the importance of sleep itself and usually only reach out in the matters of self gain.
For the media consumers:
6.) The Die-hard Wolf of Wall Street Fan:
I understand this is a great movie in itself, but if it’s your all-time favorite there’s going to be some issues. I will agree with these die-hard fans that Margo Robbie is absolutely stunning along with being an utter baddie. But, her character itself is an unreachable goal to uphold. I will personally admit and confirm I’m not looking for that type of dynamic nor built with that personality. I know I wouldn’t be able to be hot, confident, and not laugh if I have a foot in front of one’s face while wearing heels all at the same time. I can barely walk in flat shoes, you expect me to wear heels and maintain a level of hot meanness? Everyone knows the scene I am referring to here, the iconic hot pink heels Robbie wears during the scene…Anyways, absolutely not not a possibility but cheers to Margo Robbie for pulling it off.
7.) Line Reciter
This specific Red flag can be related to the die-hard fan, but is slightly different. In this section I will be discussing the same idea but on the topic of The Office. Do not get me wrong, The Office is an amazing comfort show but has many elements that can be seen as a negative influence. This show is humorous, but cracks jokes at the expense of females in the sense of how the patriarchy structure treats those who present themselves as feminine in the workforce. The show itself is a good representation of how society was at the time, but shouldn’t be put on a pedestal for the wrong reasons. If an individual appreciates the humor of the show without acknowledging the offensive undertones the writers inserted, big red flag. If you can tell that the humor itself is a coping mechanism and way for the indirect mistreatment of individuals to be apparent to a wide audience, you are golden with your obsession with “The Office.”
The Expectations and Preferences:
8.) The Pronoun Assumer
I’m sure we have all met someone who responds to the polite question of pronouns in a way that is presumptuous. An interaction for example would be the open question of “Sooo, what are everyone’s pronouns” and the reaction of an individual would be “Well, i’m *cisgender*” This may not necessarily be a red flag, but this is an indication of someone who has a tendency to just assume things. As the saying goes, “ASSUME: you make an ass out of you and me”. Overall, cisgender people, just say your preferred pronouns. There is no need to make others be aware of your privilege.
9.) The Distant Memory
Have you ever been interested in someone to the point where you search up their Instagram in hopes to find a somewhat decent picture to show them off to friends? I’ll admit to being guilty in the sense of this intensive digging for material. That leads us to our next ridiculous red flag: The distant memory. The action of Instagram sleuthing can leave you empty-handed as their last picture or evidence of existence was posted five years or more ago. There’s no way you can show them off, so much can change in the span of five years let alone six months. So much disappointment comes from the empty handedness of just a single good photo!
10.) Distaste for Support
Three words, three words only will convey why this is a red flag. No bed frame. I’m sorry, how will you be able to support yourself and others if you can’t simply support a simple mattress? I am not discussing the matter of financials due to being a nearly broke college student. I mean Tuition and rent itself, whew. The point I am trying to make is that if your mattress is as low as it gets, where is the room for you as an individual to be a support system for friends, family, or peers? (This is a borderline joke. Financial stability and comfort is way more important than a bed frame.)
11.) Lust for discomfort
I personally have not experienced this, but think of men who show up to bodies of water in socks and shoes. According to my dear roommates, they have repeatedly observed men who show up to the pool in socks and close-toed shoes. I’m not sure about you, but I internally cringe at the combination of soaking wet socks. As an avid wearer of socks around the house, the thought of moisture seeping through the sock material is enough to send negative chills down my spine. I apologize for getting off topic, this is a red flag due to the seeking of clear discomfort. It’s a bad sign that someone is comfortable and would pursue a sensation that is disturbing to mankind. This lust for discomfort is only directed at wet sock people, any other safe discomfort in the kink community is protected from these statements.
12.) Aligned by the stars
I may have the chance to be biased on this subject due to the deep variety of interest in astrology. Due to this self-awareness of bias, I had fellow peers give some insight on astrology itself as a red flag. *Some are against Male Scorpios, Capricorns, Virgos, Pisces, and Aquarians.* In the sense of red flag land, it’s only a bad trait when an individual judges you and formulates opinions purely on your main sign without meeting or experiencing you as a person. If a person asks for details in regard to your birth-chart, run. Run in the sense that they know their sh*t and will know you better than you know yourself if they do their research.
In conclusion, there are a variety of things that can be seen or personally defined as red flags. This particular article was meant to take some of my fellow peer’s personal experiences and mass share it to the public eye. I will admit some of the traits and habits mentioned above can be seen as ridiculous despite having strong explanations. I could not cover all of the red flags I gathered, so there may be a follow up if it was thoroughly enjoyed!