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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter.

You let them go the day you stop buying their favorite coffee at the grocery store. Your hand hovers over the shelf, caught in the gravitational pull of habit and memory. The packaging is familiar, a ghost of mornings spent in the golden spill of sunlight where their laugh rippled like water over stones. It isn’t the coffee you miss—not really. It’s the version of you who believed in the soft permanence of love, who didn’t flinch at the thought of forever. You miss the mornings you spent humming your favorite song, a melody they teased you for loving, as though it belonged to a secret only the two of you could hear.

Anna Schultz-Girl On Road Trip Hands Out Window B&W
Anna Schultz / Her Campus

You let them go when the silence of their absence no longer feels like a wound but a question—a hollow space asking what comes next. Their name no longer lingers at the edge of your screen. The explanation you craved never arrives, and the ache shifts, takes on a shape that feels almost bearable. You begin to understand that closure isn’t something they can give. Closure is a door you must pull shut yourself, not to lock the past behind it but to seal the draft that chills you. With shaking hands, you delete their number—not because you’ve erased them, but because you’re reclaiming the parts of yourself that they made small.

You let them go the first time you hear their favorite song and don’t cry. The music reaches you like rain, soft at first, filling the spaces they once occupied. The melody is a reminder of nights spent chasing an impossible harmony, laughing at your own inability to get the lyrics right. At first, it stings. But then you hum along. Slowly, the weight of the song shifts, its edges dulling until it belongs to you again. The notes become yours—not an elegy to what you lost, but a thread that stitches you back together.

You let them go in the quiet mornings, the ones spent making breakfast for one. The silence is brutal at first, an echo chamber where their absence screams louder than their presence ever did. But then you notice the way the eggs taste better, lighter, as if they’ve shed the heaviness you carried for two. The coffee is richer, brewed exactly how you like it. Slowly, the table transforms. The empty chair no longer haunts you; it becomes a symbol of space, of possibility. You breathe deeply, not because you’ve forgotten them, but because you’re learning to savor the air without their shadow looming over you.

You let them go when you fall in love again. Not suddenly, but in fragments—in the steady hands of someone who doesn’t ask you to shrink, in the quiet certainty of love that feels like coming home. What you had with them was a flicker; this is a fire. When you hold your first child, you realize with bittersweet clarity that they will never know her name. Their absence no longer feels like an ache—it is a choice they made, one that etched their irrelevance into the corners of your new life.

You let them go when the places that once tethered you to them begin to lose their gravity. The park bench where you spilled secrets, the café where you built castles in the air—they fade into ordinariness. These are no longer monuments to your grief, no longer altars to what might have been. They are simply places, and you are simply someone who has walked through them and beyond.

You let them go when you receive the acceptance letter they once told you was a foolish dream. You hold it in your hands, trembling with a mix of disbelief and triumph. They are no longer a voice in your head telling you it’s impossible. In their absence, you have become your own cheerleader, your own loudest advocate. This moment is entirely yours, a testament to the life you’ve built from the rubble they left behind.

You let them go when you look in the mirror and finally see someone whole. At first, you see only fragments—the person you were, fractured by their leaving. But over time, those shards knit together into someone new. You are not who you were before them. You are someone stronger, softer, brighter. You are someone who knows that healing isn’t a destination but a practice—a choice you make in every small victory, in every quiet morning, in every song you reclaim.

Heartbreak doesn’t leave all at once. It seeps out slowly, in breaths you didn’t realize you were holding. It dissolves in the mundane triumphs: the coffee aisle, the empty chair, the songs that no longer sting. It ends the moment you stop reaching for their ghost, the moment you stop waiting for their apology. It ends when you see yourself clearly for the first time and realize you were always enough, even when they made you feel like you weren’t.

And one day, you will pass their favorite café, your own coffee in hand, and you’ll smile—not out of bitterness, but out of release. The weight of their absence will be gone, replaced by the lightness of your own liberation. That old song will play, and it won’t break you—it will be a hymn to your freedom, a soundtrack for the open road stretching ahead. You’ll love again, laugh again, build a life so radiant that their memory becomes just that: a memory. You’ll stand before the mirror and see someone whole, someone alive, and you’ll know that you didn’t just survive their leaving—you thrived because of it.

Their absence wasn’t your ending. It was your beginning.

Hi, my name is Rowan Ellis-Rissler and I am a journalist for HER Campus at CU Boulder. Born and raised in Boulder, I have cultivated a profound passion for journalism, driven by a desire to connect deeply with people and places around the globe. My academic pursuits are rooted in a dual major in Journalism and Political Science, complemented by a minor in Business Management. Outside the classroom, I am actively engaged in the CU cycling team as a mountain biker and the CU freeride team as a skier. My enthusiasm for the outdoors extends to a significant commitment to photography, where I seek to capture the world through a compelling lens. My professional aspiration is to become a photojournalist or broadcast journalist, channels through which I can combine my love for storytelling with my dedication to making a meaningful impact. I strive to craft narratives that evoke genuine emotions and foster a sense of connection, aiming to help individuals feel less isolated in an ever-evolving world.