I sit in my room, gazing at the frame on the shelf with my mother’s photo. She’s smiling, her eyes squinting just like mine do. Although she’s not here, I can feel a sense of myself in her image — knowing that with each passing day, my face will change again and look even closer to hers. And one day, I’ll look in the mirror and see her just as I knew her.
Change.
This word has haunted me for as long as I can remember. The seasons changing, my age changing, my family and friends changing — all of it has terrified me.
Change, in my mind, at one point only equated to negative states like death, loneliness, and spiritual hunger. Any shift would open the doors to terrible circumstances, and I would be left clinging to remnants of the past.
With graduation a week away, I can’t help but reflect on how much has shifted during the last four years. To put it plainly, I’ve grown.
My voice is clearer, I can focus easier, my heart doesn’t race at the thought of public speaking, I have more piercings, I have new friends, I like different music, I have a noticeable impact on people, I read more often, I love philosophy, I advocate for social justice, and I can’t even imagine myself being this happy four years ago.
The experiences I’ve had during my time as an undergrad, from graduating summa cum laude all the way down to seeing the flowers bloom on campus again each year, have changed me in profound ways. I feel lucky to have undergone all of this evolution in such a short while.
Change never had to haunt me because it was there the whole time.
And even though life has taken away people, things, and places I love, I can’t help but be grateful for the ever-evolving nature of life. Like leaves falling for new ones to grow, my current self awaits the next stage of life, eager to see what grows in my place.
Change brings growth far more than it depletes.
So, as I prepare to move on, my entire worldview is changed. I will gaze fondly upon pictures, reminisce over journal entries, and smile at the me of yesterday. I long to show her what I learned, but I know she already knows. I can only hope that the me of tomorrow continues to embrace the love for change we’ve found.
Change is necessary, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.