Long-term relationships are hard. They take a lot of commitment and work. If you’re someone in a romantic relationship, or just want to know about ways to better your relationships in general, this article is for you.
My relationship story has been a bit more different than most. My current boyfriend, Ossiel, and I hit our two-year anniversary at the beginning of September. Along the way, I’ve learned many valuable things about myself and relationships in general that every partner should know.
Ossiel was one of the first boys I had ever started talking to, and we hit it off instantly. I was just 17 at the time. I had one year left of high school and then was on my way to college. A serious relationship was the last thing I was looking for, but here we are now, and I wouldn’t trade a single thing for the world. I learned so many valuable lessons about how to love myself while loving someone else. I want to share those things with other young women who are learning about how to be in a relationship while also growing up.
YOU ARE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH
Ossiel and I are similar, yet very different. I realize that opposites attract, but keep in mind that you should have similar goals for your future. I believe loving someone who wants to succeed in life with you is crucial. Don’t go for someone who is going to hold you down and not help you grow. Look for those signs early in your relationship. Do they celebrate your wins? Are they hurt at your losses? What are their goals and aspirations? Figuring this out sooner rather than later will help you find someone you’re compatible with.
TALK THINGS OUT
I hate to admit it, but Ossiel knows how to bring out my anger issues. While being in our relationship, I’ve really had to learn the meaning of patience. Lashing out has always made things worse. I’ve had to learn to be able to take a step back and think about the things I want to accomplish. Solving the issue by talking it out calmly will always end better than coming on the attack and leaving angry at each other. Make it a priority in your relationship to communicate and be open. It really makes a difference.
DON’T BE EACH OTHER’S EVERYTHING
My mom told me when I had just started dating Ossiel to make sure that I didn’t drop other parts of my life for him. She told me to not lose my friends, and that space is key. Being in love, especially during the honeymoon phase, it becomes easy to want to spend as much time as possible with each other. Although it’s hard, try and avoid this. Make sure you’re able to find a balance.
NOT EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS
Relationships are hard, and they take work. If you both truly love each other, you will learn to love each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. In my freshman year of college, I was struggling with some medical issues. I was having a very rough time, to say the least. Ossiel stuck by me through it all. Find that person who is going to be your rock. Find that person who will pick you up when you fall. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about you enough to stick by your side through hard times. Know your worth.
YOU’RE A TEAM
At the end of the day, remember that you’re a team. Be there for each other and love each other. When you’re able to find that special person who becomes your home and is someone who will always have your back, there’s no feeling like it. Being able to accept love at that magnitude is crazy and such a beautiful life experience. Make sure you’re experiencing it with the right person.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned from being in a successful, two-year relationship. My biggest overall suggestion would be to love yourself and know your worth. If you enter a relationship knowing those things, you’ll find someone who will love you for you, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I know that I found that person (shoutout to Ossiel), and you will too!