How Dance Led Me to My Spirit

I have always loved moving my body. Culturally, it’s been instilled in me since I was a child. 

Technically, we’ve all danced since before we could remember. African dance culture taught me that various activities, work practices, and life events can translate into dance. You can limp and make it into dance. You can even give attitude through dance.

But the first time things truly clicked for me was when I took an African Dance class during my freshman year of undergrad. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely struggled in my first couple of classes. I could never start on the right foot, and as my professor said, “I couldn’t bounce”. The thing is though, I was always predestined to be a mover. It wasn’t just about the movement– it was about the spirit. 

I started college in COVID and I don’t even need to say much- it sucked. It altered all of our lives in unique ways, and it made me somewhat depressed. When I started dancing, I discovered how dancing can bring about so many emotions within your body, and it can also make you forget everything in the moment if you allow it to. The battles I faced as I progressed through my college career I can’t even count on my fingers. But the one thing that stayed consistent through all of those trials and tribulations was dance. It became my outlet, and I found myself dancing more on my own accord. Whether it be a random dance class outside of the university or dancing in my room– dance gave me something no one can ever take away from me. I found my spirit.

I was always such a quiet young woman–loud when I wanted to be, sure. But quiet for the most part: largely due to social anxiety. Dance demanded a confidence from me that no other area in my life had ever asked of me before. I was afraid to be seen but dance made me reveal myself. From that journey birthed aplomb in the way I carried myself not only when I was dancing, but in other areas of my life as well. 

Despite being so quiet, I have had a persistent fire raging in me since I was 8 years old after a life-changing event. As I search for equanimity in my life I have found things that have brought me peace, that have brought me back down to the earth. And dance is the defining factor.

Through dance, I was able to bring my family together in spaces I otherwise wouldn’t have. I met the most beautiful, talented people. I met my mentor who plays such a big role in my life I’m not even sure he or I can fully conceptualize. 

Dance brought me home to myself. Dance made me recognize that so much of my anger, passion, and struggles come from an 8-year-old girl who wanted so badly to be seen. I see her, and I will do everything in my capacity to protect and guide her as I continue to move to the rhythm. I will dance for her always.

• college
• first-generation
• health
• mental health