It’s October! The leaves are changing, it’s getting dark earlier, and in Boulder, well, it’s still reaching 80 degrees some days. Despite Boulder not fully adopting the fall weather quite yet, I’ve had a good semester so far with enjoyable classes, good books, and just a few tedious math problems. It was all interesting facts and routine classes, until suddenly, multiple papers and exams began looming on the very near horizon. The syllabi laid it out clearly from the start and the to do’s on Canvas have been reminding me, but only now have I realized how deep I am into midterms.Â
I’ve been most stressed about my Economics exam. I’ve been going to class, doing all the required outside work and should feel prepared. So why don’t I?Â
Obviously a midterm is important, but so is a regular assignment. These papers and exams make up large portions of my grade, but I feel like they shouldn’t put as much stress on me as they do. The fact I get stressed at all tells me that I care about what I’m doing, but I’ve done the work, shown up, put in the time, and I should, in return, feel ready for the exam. Still, I feel like I’m not ready. It’s weeks like these where I try to be conscientious that I have taken every possible step in order to succeed. While being in college, it’s important to devote time and effort into classes. However, I am finding that it’s even more valuable to retain a balance between a social life, breaks, and studying, especially when the assignments are some of the most important this semester.Â
The first midterm I took was about two weeks ago. It was for my business class that switches subjects halfway through the semester, meaning next week I will be taking the final. There were so many things I was worried about leading up to and during the midterm. Where can I take it where the Wi-Fi won’t crash? What if Proctorio thinks I’m talking to someone when I’m just mouthing the question eighty times to myself because I can’t figure out what the answer is? What if I mix up two questions on accident?
Well, it went fine—great, to some extent. In classes where it is important to remember and recall information on the spot, I feel like I’ve got my studying tactic down. I just remind myself of one thing, you know what you know. It’s important to review and spend time on the content, but not necessarily on the day of the exam. I spent multiple hours in the days leading up to the exam reading the material covered throughout the semester, but the day of the exam, the most I’ll do is skim it. I believe that after going to class and reviewing, trying to cram any extra information into my head the day of the exam only forms stress. I found that for me, it only creates confusion and leads me to doubt whether I am remembering something correctly. Then I’m just sitting in front of my computer, five minutes until the start of the exam, violently flipping through my notebook and jumbling all the information, making me misinterpret the things I already knew. Since I’ve started telling myself that I know what I know, I’ve built the belief within myself that I possess the skills and knowledge that will lead me to do the best I can. On the day of my exam I end up less stressed because I am not tearing open the box and dumping all of the pieces on the table the same day the puzzle is due. Reviewing thoroughly and often within the semester has led me to put together enough information so that on the day of the exam, I can trust and believe in myself.
It can be really challenging to ask for help. I have questioned going to tutoring or office hours because I’m afraid I won’t know the best way to phrase a question or even how to ask for help. However I can tell you firsthand, I am a firm believer in going to get help when you need it. I have found that it proves to me that I care enough about what I am doing that I will push myself out of my comfort zone to get better. I also believe that it does get easier to continue going back once pushing past being uncomfortable or nervous. In my Economics class, I found myself really struggling with the content. I missed a class and felt the past six weeks just fall out from underneath me. I didn’t know if I should try tutoring because I was worried that it would seem I wasn’t trying my hardest, not because I really didn’t understand it.Â
I didn’t know if I should sign up for tutoring because I thought, I only missed one class, I can probably put it together. Well, spoiler alert, I couldn’t, and pushing aside my pride and fear, I signed up for tutoring. I went, only after a nine a.m. class, two and a half hours in the library, followed by two more classes. Needless to say, my brain had reached its limit before I stepped foot into the office. However, it was incredibly helpful. I mixed up a few numbers, still struggled to immediately grasp some concepts, but I came out of it feeling so much better. I had to remind myself that learning is not linear. Sometimes I fall back and it can take the help of someone else to get me back to where I was. I went back again on Monday, and cleared up the rest of the things I had trouble with, and went into class feeling ready to contribute. I got a few things wrong, but I got a lot of it right. It’s not the first class I’ve struggled with, or the first I’ve sought help for. Within the multiple classes I have gone to office hours or tutoring sessions, whether the problem was big or just something I wanted to clarify, I have always come out more confident than before. Honestly, I was never this way before college. I would struggle through concepts or just try to force myself to figure it out on my own. I know it’s cheesy, and it might not be ideal at first, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have someone help you out of a problem when you need it.Â
Sometimes we fail. It’s okay, it’s normal, and often, it can be healthy. Does it always feel that way when a class or exam feels like it could dictate the entire trajectory of your life? No. However failure can mean many different things. It could be getting a literal two out of ten on a question set despite feeling that you aced it; or maybe failing happens when you feel you didn’t meet the standards you set for yourself. Whatever the reason, there should always be something you do or find to make you feel as though there is success in your life. During weeks containing copious amounts of work, I try to do something daily that I know I can succeed at. It doesn’t matter what it is, so long as I feel like I have done something for myself.
These past few weeks, it has been cooking. I allocate a few hours for myself to take the time to slow down and create something I am going to enjoy. I have really been enjoying making chicken parmesan, apple pie, and meatballs. These recipes remind me of home, and don’t require me to spend hours beforehand studying the ins and outs of cooking. I’ve been using the same recipe forever and it is one of the first that pop up as soon as I google apple pie recipes. It doesn’t require me to make my own crust, if I don’t want to–which I never do–and I still create a great dessert out of it. While I am not the best cook, and I know these aren’t the most technically challenging and groundbreaking dishes, by making them, I get the chance to separate myself from my classwork. I think exams can be daunting because even if the format is explained to me, until it is sitting in front of me, it’s an intangible object. Cooking, and other tasks that force me to be present, have become helpful because they allow me to focus on something immediate.Â
I can’t do it all. There’s so many things to do and so little time. However, there is something that I always get–even if it’s less than usual–sleep. When I was touring colleges, CU Boulder, actually, an Aerospace Engineering tour guide told us, “you can’t do everything. You have to choose what is most important and be content with your choices.” My choice is always to sleep. I don’t care if it ends up being two hours or eight, I’ll take anything. Something that is really destructive is when I spend half of a semester building habits and patterns, only for it to be destroyed by two weeks of midterms, and later, finals. I end up getting sick, not being able to focus on what I’m doing, and not getting the scores I always want. I opt for sleep because it gives me the best chance of staying on track for my personal success. However, staying on track can be anything. Maybe it’s watching a movie as a break, or trying something new anytime the opportunity is offered.
 It’s important to establish habits, but it’s even more important to try and keep them. The more things I create habits with before midterms, the more normalcy I can retain in a week that turns everything upside down.Â