I always longed to be the quiet, shy, and mysterious girl in school with an awesome backstory that you would never know because of her mystifying presence. However… I am a certified blabbermouth, yapper, chatty cathy, unfiltered chatterbox – an eternal blabber if you will. And I doubt that’s ever going to change.
My talkativeness got me in constant trouble in grade school because I could not shut up for the life of me. I always had something to say, and in my mind, it was better to speak up than stay quiet. So why subdue my favorite part of myself? The thing that most people commended me for slowly turned into a point of contention for many. Whether I ‘talked too much’ or was too loud and needed to use my inside voice, suddenly, for the first time in my life, my voice had become all too much. I felt embarrassed and humiliated because of my sometimes overwhelming presence, but as I got older, I learned this had more to do with others’ insecurities and much less to do with my volume. Once I found the right group of people, I was praised for my loudness and inability to shut up.
I found especially in college, my ability to project was a skill. If you have ever found yourself in a political science class with mostly men, then you’ll fully understand my point. When I entered college, it seemed as though I could not get a word in. Debates, group projects, or seminars were virtually impossible for me because I was scared. Scared to voice an opinion? Scared to receive backlash? Scared to be dismissed? Historically, women have been talked over or ignored in forums such as these, but little did everyone know I had a superpower that had not been revealed yet. Once I started being my usual loud self and dominating the conversation, there was no more talking over me or overshadowing me. I ran that show, and unfortunately for everyone else, I was the loudest gal in the room. This aided me in being noticed by my professors and peers, which only had positive ramifications for me.
On social media and in society, we consider “yappers” to be mainly women. We group them as gossipers, uneducated, and loud. But when did talking with confidence become such a negative and shameful habit? I believe the patriarchy groups women in a box and therefore fosters a negative connotation with being a talker or a generally loud person, thus silencing women and making them feel like they are ‘too much.’ I personally will never be quiet or shy, and I am fine with that. Neither one is inherently bad, but it’s about time we stop bashing women who choose to take up their space in every way. I am loud, but I get my point across, and no one has ever doubted my ability to take control of any situation as a result.
Overall, I find my loudness to be one of my favorite things about myself. Everyone is very aware that I’m in a 10-foot radius because of my volume, which at times can be annoying – but at least you’ll never lose me. I think women have been trained to feel like they should not take up space or dominate anything because we’re meant to be seen and not heard. As women, we’re expected to be docile creatures whose mere purpose is to serve and uphold a heteronormative worldview where gender roles trump all, but I take enjoyment in stirring that up every day. I will take up the space because it is my very human right to do so. I used to be embarrassed about my overall energy, but now as an adult I find it to be my greatest strength – I have absolutely zero qualms about speaking my mind and making it known that, one way or another, I will be making my message heard and understood.