“An intense feeling of deep connection.”Â
This is the first definition that comes up when typing the word “love” into your Google Chrome bar. Yet, when we apply this concept to an actual person, I believe that it transcends into something much more intricate.
For much of my life, I struggled to grasp the essence of love. What did it truly mean? How was I supposed to feel it, express it, and recognize it? I came to realize that love carries different meanings for everyone—an expression derived from personal experiences and our deepest longings.
I believe that we truly discover love when we meet that one special person—the one who lingers in your thoughts long after you’ve parted ways. The person whose smile ignites warmth within you, the one you instinctively turn to when the world feels heavy. It’s the one person whose laughter becomes a soundtrack to your happiest moments and whose presence makes your everyday feel brighter. Their hugs make you feel embraced in the warmth of safety and peace. When you find them, your heart whispers that this is love: the profound connection that makes you feel seen, cherished, and understood. This is the person who makes you feel.
Love takes on a different meaning when you finally meet someone who you are truly in love with—it’s when you find your person.
They say “when you meet your person, you will know”. It’s not merely about chemistry or attraction; instead, it’s about that magical blend of everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s in the effortless flow of conversation, the comfort of a shared silence, with no pressure to be filled with words. It’s the unspoken understanding that envelops you, supporting you in ways you never knew you needed. Their presence feels like home, a safe sanctuary in a chaotic world, shining light onto your darkest days. I believe that when you find your person, everything just clicks, and you realize it’s the vertex of every little moment that led you both there. Â
I never truly discovered love until I met my boyfriend for the first time back in elementary school. Fifth-grade me had no idea what love was, or even the concept of a “crush” for that matter. But when I first saw my now boyfriend on the first day of school that year, I felt a feeling different than I ever had felt before. Over the years, our bond deepened, surviving the ups and downs of middle school and the awkwardness of teenage dating. As we got older, both of us dated a few other people. But even in those short-lived relationships, the only thing I realized was they made me learn what love wasn’t.Â
Love isn’t the awkward middle school boyfriend you had because his friends pressured you into dating him. It’s not the relationship you tried to have with someone when you both knew you were better off as friends. It’s not the boy who you agreed to go to homecoming with out of obligation. Everyone has a natural longing for love. In other words, everyone wants to be loved, in some way, to some extent. So, when we have opportunities, we often try to force it. We try to convince ourselves that what we are experiencing is love, even when all of the signs are indicating it’s not. When you come to accept and realize what things are not love, you are taught a lesson. I was taught that feeling forced or pressured into something was not love, and that made me learn that love is natural. I learned that love cannot be forced; it blooms spontaneously, often in the most unexpected of moments.
So two years ago when I revived my connection with my now boyfriend, I felt the sparks instantly. When we hung out for the first time, after so much time had passed, the connection was immediate. There was a feeling like no other, and even at the start I knew that this time would be different. There hasn’t been a moment since then that we have been separated.Â
In one of our favorite shows, The Office, there’s a quote by character Pam Beesly that resonates deeply with both of us: “Most kids grow up assuming that their parents are soulmates. My kids are gonna be right about that.” This sentiment perfectly encapsulates how I feel about my boyfriend. He is my everything, my soulmate, my best friend. I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I love him. If other universes exist, I hope to find him in each one of them. When someone asks me about love, I will tell them about him.
The kind of love that my boyfriend and I have is the love that I hope everybody is able to experience with someone, some day.Â
To me, love goes beyond an “intense feeling of deep connection”. Love is not just endorphins or a chemical rush in the brain. Love is intricate, woven with vulnerability, compassion, and courage. Love is surrendering your “strong” side, opening up your heart, and allowing someone to see you at your most raw and unguarded state. Love is caring about somebody so much that you put them above everything else—not out of obligation, but out of a desire to nurture and support them. Love isn’t a “commitment” when you’re truly in love with someone; it’s a gift, because you wouldn’t ever want anybody else.
Now, I know what love is. It’s not merely a commitment; it’s a cherished gift. It’s knowing, without a doubt, that you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. And for that, I am forever grateful.