If you or someone you know is seeking help for substance use, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357).
The music moved through my body as I danced more freely than ever beforeâI was possessed by the vodka crans and Pink Whitney shots I had consumed before the frat party at the bar. I walked around the party, talking to each fraternity member, introducing myself. When my friends noticed my unusually outgoing persona, they pulled me aside and said we had to leave immediately. I giggled like a madwoman and walked like my legs had been replaced by noodles the entire way home. Once there, I plopped down on the couch in our apartment and asked, âWhy did we have to leave so suddenly?â Then I ran to the bathroom and immediately answered my own question.Â
That was the only time I have ever thrown up from drinking alcohol in college. I woke up with crippling anxiety and a yearning for water. I also had to DoorDash a bagel from a coffee shop which is 700 feet from my apartment. Then I spent the rest of the day in bed feeling like complete shit.Â
I am not a binge drinker; I know my limitsâthat night was an accident. However, anytime I go out and consume alcohol, it hurts my stomach. I donât like how it makes me feel, and I wake up feeling anxious and unmotivated. Knowing that alcohol makes me feel this way, I prefer to stay sober. Going out for dinner without a drink lets me eat mindfully and intuitively. My best friends and I love to have apartment dance parties on random weeknights. These dance parties are sober wholesome fun! However, if I were to say I wanted to go to a frat completely sober I would hear loud gasps. If I can dance like no one is watching on a random Tuesday night, you bet I can dance my heart out completely sober in a frat basement, especially when everyone else is drunk and not paying attention to me.Â
Here is my dilemma: people love having people to drink with, and at 21-years-old when the college culture revolves around going out and drinking, itâs really hard to tell people I donât want to drink. Recently, I was at dinner with a new group of friends. I was talking to the guy sitting next to me, who was also 21, when he confidently told me he didnât drink. When I asked him why, he said he didnât like it. I respected how confidently and comfortably he told me that.Â
I donât need to go cold turkey on alcohol, but I want to say ânoâ confidently when I don’t want a drink. How do I find this confidence? I need to embrace it. If my friends donât accept me for not wanting to drink because I donât like how it makes me feel, I may need to re-evaluate who my friends are. If someone is judgemental of my choices, then maybe itâs an insecurity they have with themselves, and it has nothing to do with me. Lastly, a big part of the âgoing outâ in college is to meet guys. How will I meet guys if I donât want to go to a bar every weekend? I can meet guys from going to activities that make me feel my best, such as a workout class, hiking, a class at school, etc. Do what makes you happy and feel your best, and donât worry about what others think. I know how hard it is not to want to drink with the social pressure of college, but itâs your life and your choices, and you donât have to do anything that doesnât make you feel your absolute best!