Dylan Mulvaney, a transgender woman and wildly popular influencer, recently released her first song in celebration of her second year of womanhood. The single, titled “Days of Girlhood,” is a callback to Mulvaney’s TikTok series in which she documented each day of her transition, highlighting the highs and lows of her experience. This series catapulted Mulvaney into internet fame, receiving both praise and prejudice for her transgender identity. Despite the song’s upbeat tune, the backlash against Mulvaney’s single was enormous. Many criticized Mulvaney’s lyric choices, arguing that the chorus of her song generalized women in a sexist manner. The chorus reads as follows:
“Monday, can’t get out of bed
Tuesday morning, pick up meds
Wednesday, retail therapy
‘Cash or credit?’ I say yes
Thursday, had a walk of shame
Didn’t even know his namе
Weekends are for kissing friends
Friday night, I’ll ovеrspend
Saturday, we flirt for drinks
Playing wingman to our twinks
Sunday, the Twilight soundtrack
Cues my breakdown in the bath.”
While it’s clear that this chorus depicts a stereotypical expectation of girlhood, Mulvaney uses first-person narration, indicating that the song is about her experience, rather than a generalized female experience. Despite this fact, many argued that this narrative was still harmful to women, as it perpetuates a “misogynistic” idea of women’s existence. While there is nothing wrong with criticisms of the media in and of itself, a plethora of takes surrounding “Days of Girlhood” are just instances of thinly veiled transphobia.
Some argue that Mulvaney is not a “real” woman, therefore, she has no right to create a song about girlhood. Some further their argument by saying that Mulvaney has “only been a girl for 2 years,” and therefore, doesn’t know what “girlhood” actually is. All of these arguments lead back to the same transphobic rhetoric: Mulvaney is not “woman” enough to create a song about her experiences.
The same people criticizing Mulvaney for being an alleged misogynist ironically fail to bat an eye at songs perpetuating harmful stereotypes, so long as they are created by cisgender women and men. This is not a coincidence. Many of these songs exaggerate stereotypes of girlhood, yet seem to have no discourse surrounding them. For instance, the song “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood has over 577 million streams on Spotify. While catchy as can be, the song has some questionable lyrics, such as, “Right now, he’s probably slow dancin’ with a bleach-blonde tramp, and she’s probably gettin’ frisky,” or, “she’s probably sayin’, ‘I’m drunk,’ And he’s a-thinkin’ that he’s gonna get lucky.”In a similar vein, those criticizing Mulvaney’s new song have conveniently been able to look past multiple instances of gendered trends surrounding the incompetence of women, such as “girl math” or the “I’m just a girl” trend.
So, what is it about Dylan Mulvaney’s new song that is grinding so many peoples’ gears? How is it that so many can criticize Mulvaney’s alleged misogyny, but fail to recognize prevalent sexism in other factions of the media they consume? Why is it that so many feel as if Mulvaney’s experiences with girlhood somehow takes away from their experience with girlhood? These hypocrisies seem to prove that many of those criticizing Mulvaney’s new song are not concerned with combating misogyny, but rather, refuting the validity of transgender identities and experiences. No transgender woman is arguing that her experiences are the same as cisgender women’s experiences; no one is conflating these two nuanced realities with one another. Both transgender women and cisgender women alike experience many hardships on the basis of their gender identity and it’s time we recognize that the existence of transgender women does not take away from the experiences of cisgender women.
Not all women must relate to “Days of Girlhood.” No one is saying you have to. Before hopping on the hate-train of “Days of Girlhood,” people ought to think critically about its true meaning: Mulvaney is excited to be experiencing her reality of girlhood, while also recognizing the women who helped her become the person she is now. As Mulvaney so eloquently stated in the same song: “Girls who helped show me the way, They’re why I’m an It girl today.”