When the going gets tough and you lose a friend or feel school work stacking up against you, it can be difficult to prioritize and love yourself. Through my college experience thus far, I have found myself in deep slums of anxiety, depression, and self-hatred. It is easy to fall into these cycles when the stressors of life become overwhelming, but self love and care can help combat these feelings and are essential to maintaining mental well-being.
Feel Your Feelings
This one is pretty self explanatory, but it is completely healthy and necessary to process what’s going on in your life. This is often my first step to feeling better — don’t dwell on it, but really think it through and reflect. This strategy goes for anything, a hard day or silly argument. It can be so beneficial to take a step back and let yourself feel.
Reflecting on a situation, my reaction, and the reality of things often sets me at ease and puts things into perspective. Writing these thoughts down into notes app or a journal helps me as well, even if it’s just a dump of feelings into a google doc to really get your feelings out.
reach out
It can be tempting to self-isolate during difficult times, but it is so helpful to talk to someone you trust. Engaging with your community, even in small ways, can really help combat these negative feelings.
Reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or someone else can provide further insight into your situation and feelings, and help you to feel less alone.
the importance of self-compassion
More than anything, it is key to remain kind to yourself. Beating yourself up will only make you feel worse, though that is easier said than done. Try to do small things for yourself and your mental well-being, like taking a bath, going for a walk, taking a nap, or even just a nice hot shower and skincare. Self-care looks different for everyone –- only you know what you need. Be nice to yourself and know it is okay to put you first.
setting boundaries and having hard conversations
One of the only ways I have found to protect my peace and well-being is to set boundaries and have needed, but difficult, conversations. It can be stressful to face the situations or people causing you to feel a certain way, but often the only resolution is communication.
Self confidence in your communication and feelings goes a long way — it is important to stand strong in your convictions and values.
finding joy and passion
Finding joy, passion, and purpose in the little things in life makes the drama and stress feel miniscule. For me, I have found passion in journalism and writing. After falling into depression, self-hatred and anxiety, I found it was best to turn my focus and attention to my career goals and dreams of becoming a journalist. That gives me a purpose beyond the endless hellscape of highschool and college, of drama and classwork.
resources at The university of colorado, boulder
You are never alone! Beyond your personal support network, there are many resources at CU Boulder and nationally for those struggling with self-love and/or depression.
- Counseling and Psychiatric Services at CU
- Renee Crown Wellness Institute
- Campus Wellness Center, located inside of Wardenburg Health Center
- CU Health Promotion Events
- Self Esteem App
- BetterHelp Online Therapy
- Online and in person support groups
- 988 Suicide & Mental Crisis Hotline (national)
Finding joy in the small things, passion and drive for the future, and creating goals for myself have helped me tremendously in loving myself and my life. It can be easy to fall into thought patterns of hopelessness and stress, often leading to procrastination and self-isolation. It is important to remember your community is there for you, and there are resources around you. Cyclical negative thinking will try to take you down – don’t let it.