Between the ages of 9 and 20, I have moved around several times, and each time I have found it increasingly more difficult to start my social life over and form new friendships. Moving is never fun; no one really wants to restart in a new place with new people and new routines.Growing up each time we relocated, it felt as if a rug was being pulled from beneath my feet. When I was 9 years old, my family moved from our home in Chicago, Illinois to London, England. I remember our parents telling us of the plan and how distraught my sister and I were to learn we were leaving our home, the place we’d grown up. That move was the most transformative for me I would say, because not only were we going to a new place, but a new country. We were very lucky to attend a school in which students regularly transferred and moved away, so the community we were met with was incredibly welcoming of new students and it was easy to make friends. This experience was very eye-opening for me; being the “new kid” for the first time allowed me to develop a strong sense of compassion for other new arrivals throughout my time there. It made me into a more kind and caring person overall, and I am grateful for the experience, though it was a difficult thing to reconcile emotionally at first.Â
We stayed in London for about a year and a half before our parents informed us that we would be returning to Chicago,but to a different school anda different neighborhood. At that time, I felt as if I’d only just truly found my footing at our new school and was only just beginning to thrive, so while I was glad to be closer to my friends in Chicago again, I was very frustrated that we would be forced to start over once again—a new place, with new people and routines. This move did not go as smoothly. The elementary school my sister and I attended was not so used to transfers, and in turn, making friends proved to be a big challenge for me. My time in London helped bring me out of my shell a bit, as I’ve always been an anxious person, and I was not afraid to put myself out there and attempt to make friends, but they were not so receptive to my attempts at friendship. It took the better half of my fifth grade year to gain the trust of a few kids there, but I did end up forming a very close friend group, which I will always think of very fondly.
This group of friends stuck by me throughout junior high, though became significantly less close upon our middle school graduation, as we were to each attend different high schools. One junior high friend went on to attend my high school with me and she and I became inseparable during our freshman year. I also took up playing field hockey and found an intense passion for it, joining the JV and Varsity teams at our rival high school. But of course, it couldn’t last, and we moved again to Dallas,Texas during the summer before my sophomore year. This was easily the most difficult move for me, as a 16-year-old moving to a new state, and it took me about two years to make friends at my new school. Not to mention, I had no particular interest in residing in the Lone Star State. Though transfers were fairly common at our massive new high school, being forced to start over yet again caused me to become very closed off and self-conscious, and my sophomore and junior years were some of my worst. Not to mention, when I did attempt to be social and make new friends, the people there were not very receptive. Our new school also did not have field hockey, and as the nearest club team was nearly an hour away and teaming with girls who played year-round on their own school teams, I didn’t stand a chance of making the roster and was forced to give up my passion. I did manage to make one close friend during my sophomore year, and he later introduced me to other friends of his who went on to become my friends as well, including my present-day best friend. I was so lucky to have met such awesome people, and am forever grateful that extroverts exist, as an introvert myself.
The move to Colorado for college was another challenge in itself, being away from my family and long-distance boyfriend presented many challenges for me, especially during my first semester (although let’s be real, who really has a good first semester of college?). I struggled with a lot of mental health issues during this time and struggled to make friends as all of the moving had made me more anxious than I’d ever been, becoming even more closed off socially. Each move, each new beginning took its toll on me, molding me into a more cautious, anxious and self-conscious person, and that is something that I work every day to change, pushing myself to be more outgoing and open to meeting new people and making new friends. The lack of stability during my adolescent and teenage years had a huge impact on my personality and shaped how I go about making friends, interact with others, and even how I carry myself, and I hope that the transition into college will overall help me become more comfortable in my own skin and confident when I meet new people.
