Swipe right, swipe left. Swiping on the apps is the modern equivalent of the first impression of someone you just met. Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble rely on algorithms to help show profiles to you that are similar to the previous accounts you’ve liked.
The algorithms follow what they believe pop culture would think people are attracted to. Let’s say a person is more attracted to blonde women, and you continue to swipe left on those women; the algorithm will continue to show those people on the apps as pop culture believes white males prefer blonde women, which they will continue to show blonde women on the apps.
Many people have very different opinions about the use of dating apps. Many people have had some success stories with finding partners on the apps. Still, a good number of frustrated people have given up on the dating scene due to the low success rate of meeting a person who doesn’t fit their criteria for a partner.
Hopeless romantics like myself experience the most frustration when it comes to dating apps. A hopeless romantic will think the best of people, and even if the people on the apps are complete monsters, a hopeless romantic will always give them the time of day. In my experience, you can always hope they will become a better person, even if you soon realize that will never happen.
Many people looking for a relationship can be eager to look past the red flags that they would typically see. Let’s say you have been talking to a person, and you have been talking for the past week and are looking to meet up for the first time. They suggest they come to their apartment and give this impression that they want to hook up. To please them, you go through with it. Everything seems fine. Until you get home, text them to tell them you had a good time. Then texts aren’t going through.
In the modern day, the view of relationships has changed. These dating apps feed into a standard of causal relationships, setting the tone for hookup culture rather than long-term relationships. At least 52% of adult dating app users are found compulsively swiping through potential partners. At least one-third of dating app users use swiping as a social activity. All of this raises the question of whether dating apps are the right way to find a partner. According to the same study, 32% of users who take swiping seriously obsess over their potential matches.
Dating apps are a way to help get yourself out there, but it can be frustrating and scary because you never really know what type of person you are making yourself vulnerable to. The reality of dating apps is the thoughts you bring to yourself when talking to someone you meet on a dating app. “Are you really attracted to me?” The unsuccessful parts of being on dating apps can bring some depressive thoughts as you wonder to yourself, “Will I ever find a partner?” and make you wonder if you will ever be good enough for anyone you pursue in a possible relationship.
Just know it’s not you. The dating scene is just getting worse.