During a lovely collaboration with the well-known local company Shaggbox, I had the privilege to talk to Ryan, the founder and owner. On the company website, Ryan is described as an intimacy counselor with 10 years of experience in the industry. It also states that he is adamant about advocating for free and consent-focused sex education for all, but especially for young men.
I was especially curious about this part of Shaggbox and Ryan’s experience overall, so I asked about how his prior experience and beliefs on sex education tie into his company, and how he managed to keep this positive message prevalent in such a taboo, and oftentimes, misogynistic, industry.
“Porn as education? That’s the worst education,” he said, right off the bat.
Sex education in most U.S. schools, though improved since 1995, is still not sufficient. Oftentimes it is glossed over, taught only because the state mandates it—and even then, only 39 of 50 states require it. It’s unrealistic and oftentimes portrays the actors in ways that are unattainable or even toxic.
“That’s really where kids are getting their sex education from,” he said, “and it’s a distorted view.”
Additionally, Ryan emphasized the importance of loving what you do. When asked, he said that he “always had an interest in the industry but did not see a future in it” outside of being a male porn star, which was not what he wanted to do. I prompted further, wanting to know the pathway that he took to get to where he is today: the owner of a successful company that advocates for topics that are usually shied away from in the adult industry.
Ryan stated that he disliked school throughout his childhood and adolescence and I found this to be extremely relatable and honestly, realistic. Questioning your focus in your career and educational choices is not at all unheard of, especially with college students. I have talked to so many people that were unsure if they were studying the right subject, and further, if it was something that they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. Many people choose to come to college just because it might feel like the right thing to do—the “correct” next step in life after high school. Pursuing higher education is a privilege, but it can also be a lot of pressure. Ryan went to college and got a degree in hospitality just to get a degree, but by that time, he had already started Shaggbox.
Two years after he started college was the humble beginning of Shaggbox. To avoid graduating in debt, which is a fear that many people who pursue higher education have, he would only take a couple classes, which made handling the company more manageable. Later on, he would hire students that attended CU Boulder to help out the team, giving them the opportunity to work at a start-up business and gain experience through an internship.
The road isn’t always clear, however. Prior to Shaggbox, Ryan said that he had a catering company, which mainly served Caribbean and Jamaican cuisine. From this, he started a hot sauce company featuring one of the sauces he used, which was a recipe from his Caribbean mother. Unfortunately, the business fell through after complications with the kitchen he produced his hot sauce in. Though he could have started up his business again, he said that Shaggbox was the best choice he could have made.
“The money was decent, but Shaggbox is a much better system,” he said.
In addition to the variety of sex toys they carry, they also have books about practicing safe sex, video tutorials about how to safely use products, and often work with the MESA group (Moving to End Sexual Assault) here in Boulder. This is what really sets Shaggbox apart from other companies that cater to adult audiences—the fact that they care.
Shaggbox’s products are all made of 100% body safe and medical grade materials, which Ryan strongly emphasizes. In his prior experience in the industry, he said that he would often find products with defects, such as peeling paint. This was especially shocking to me—how is it that out of everything, sex toys are made out of unsafe materials? How are the regulations so blurred and overlooked? Though I hope that in the future, stricter regulations are enforced, for now, I know that I can trust all of the products from Shaggbox.
However, if you’re nervous or hesitant to purchase adult products, be assured that Shaggbox has discreet packaging, plus video tutorials and beginner-friendly products. Some of the most popular products at Shaggbox are the rope restraints and the nipple clamps,though, of course, Ryan recommends a simple bullet vibrator if that’s a little too intense for a beginner.
And if you’re interested in trying one of said vibrators out for the first time, use the discount code “hercampus” when you’re ordering from the Shaggbox website and get 10% off your first purchase as well as a free surprise gift.
It was such a pleasure to talk with Ryan about Shaggbox and about how to find your niche. It is a wonderful privilege to love what you do and to profit enough from it to have it as a career. Mentally and physically, it is so important to fulfill your own needs–wherever your passions may lie.