We have officially entered the holiday season! For many people, this time of year brings up a lot of complicated emotions. On one hand, we all get to take a break from school, see our families, and eat all of the mashed potatoes our hearts desire. But these past couple of years have been politically and socially challenging, so large family gatherings can easily lead to conflict, arguments, and discomfort. If you have conflicting feelings about Thanksgiving, you definitely aren’t alone. Here are some tips to make sure that your holiday gatherings go safely and smoothly this year.
- listen to others’ opinions–within reason.
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It’s inevitable that, as humans, we will have disagreements with other people, and family is no exception. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Having important conversations about our differences can lead to necessary change in the world and can help us learn a lot of new things, too. We shouldn’t discount someone else’s thoughts just because they differ from our own.
However, there are absolutely cases in which this does not apply. If relatives are making racist, sexist, or homophobic comments, then this is not simply a “difference of opinion,” and you do not have to take these perspectives into consideration.
- decide whether certain topics should be off-limits beforehand.
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I know that many families have a “no politics” rule around the holidays, and this probably works well for some and not for others. This year, we’ll probably be seeing plenty of new hot-button issues that could definitely lead to heated arguments, like the COVID-19 vaccine. Before attending gatherings, decide (either by yourself or with other family members) if there are some topics that should be avoided. Every family is different, so make sure you make the decision that works for you and will keep everyone comfortable and happy.
- have a friendsgiving as well as your family dinner.
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I am a huge fan of Friendsgivings! They take all of the fun parts of Thanksgiving (a.k.a. the food) without any of the drama. Set up a fun dinner with your high school friends the week of Thanksgiving or with your college friends before or after fall break. Participating or hosting a Friendsgiving is a great way to ensure you still have a positive Thanksgiving experience if your official dinner doesn’t go as planned.
- know your boundaries.
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Family is important, but nothing is more important than your health, happiness, and well-being. If you are in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, you can absolutely leave. You are under no obligation to be around people who are toxic or discredit your existence and experience, even if they are family. If you have a trusted family member who will be there, like a parent or sibling (or that fun cousin you vibe the most with), you could let them know beforehand that you might feel uncomfortable and come up with a plan for if an undesirable situation comes up.
I hope that these tips help you as we enter the holiday season! Remember to take some time for yourself during these next couple of months, too–the holidays may be time for families, but you deserve self-care, too. I’m wishing all of you a fun, safe, and healthy holiday season!
