Being in college is about finding yourself and having that freedom to do so, but sometimes that isn’t always the same for everyone, especially when it comes to sexuality. Many people take this time to explore and focus on different things, but I myself don’t. While having the opportunity to find what you want is important, it’s also okay to take things at your own pace. It is easy to take this time for granted, but you can take time to focus on yourself and what you desire, including sexually. These are my experiences and some others experiences of being a virgin in college.
What kind of college dorm would it be if you weren’t playing Cards Against Humanity at one point? Games like this that are inherently dirty are the perfect way to broaden your horizons on some of these naughty things. Being a virgin, it is very common to play this game and not understand what a lot of the cards mean or at least not having a personal experience. There are so many times I have found myself explaining the more “dirty” cards to virgins, even though I am also somewhat unaware of what the cards are about. It’s even more entertaining when all the players are virgins, and suddenly you learn some of them have the dirtiest minds despite appearing incredibly sweet and innocent. Sometimes people assume because I am a virgin I don’t understand what things mean, when I definitely do. Try playing Cards Against Humanity with a few guys and listen to them try to explain something regarding female pleasure – they feel so flustered and uncomfortable. Okay, that may be a bit mean, but it’s funny!Â
In some ways, I chose to be a virgin. I didn’t date in school and still haven’t, meaning I also haven’t had my first kiss. Some of this was for religious reasons, but besides that, I also felt I went to school with the worst type of men. While it was a conscious choice, I hadn’t truly been asked out since elementary school, so even if I had wanted to, I wasn’t necessarily given an open opportunity (to be fair, I didn’t ask anyone out either). In some ways I just don’t think I have found the right person yet. Sure, I have definitely seen attractive people, but they also have to be my type in ways deeper than looks. In college, you see some pretty good looking people walking around campus, and the sheer amount of options can be overwhelming. I am also waiting until marriage, but I don’t know what the future holds for me. I don’t find myself trying to restrain myself or anything when it comes to losing my virginity or anything, but it is always an interesting conversation to have with others when they ask, which they don’t always do.
Telling other people about being a virgin is also something that you sometimes have to deal with in college. I personally find it very funny when others get uncomfortable asking me about it. I don’t care about sharing that information, because my virginity status is not something I should be ashamed of. Because of my religious affiliation, many assume that I’m a virgin anyway. Sometimes for fun, I lie and say I’m not, prompting surprised reactions and questions like who and when . I’ll follow up with an “I’m joking,” but the head turns and open mouths are always funny.Â
We live in a time where your sexual activity should not be subject to outside judgement. Being in college, you have to remind yourself that it’s okay to take it slow (or not!). Our generation is about moving forward and being accepted no matter what you like or dislike, it’s your body and you are allowed to do whatever you want with it. Don’t feel pressured to lose your virginity. Being comfortable with yourself and where you are mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually is more important than trying to fit in.Â