Whatever Your Current Emotional State, Brandi Carlile Has a Song For It

Americana singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile is criminally underrated. So underrated, in fact, that I’ve spent years listening to her constantly to make up for it. She has an amazingly beautiful voice, and her lyrics always hit differently, no matter what phase of life you’re in and what emotion you’re feeling. She’s also a really good person, an LGBTQ+ activist (she and her wife are adorable, by the way), and mother of two daughters–all while releasing new music all the time, with her latest Grammy-nominated release being “In These Silent Days“.

Not only are her lyrics so well-written, but she writes about so many different subjects that people deal with in life that she truly has something for everyone. There are love songs, yes, but also hateful songs. She has songs about growing up, getting older, broken friendships, really any situation you could name. To know her at all is to love her. Honestly, I could go on for years about Brandi and her bandmates Tim and Phil Hanseroth, but I think letting her lyrics and voice speak for themselves (you can listen to the links below) is the best way to get to know her.

So, I’ve compiled a list of 20 of my favorite songs of hers that I think people will be able to relate to. Some are good for crying, some are good for celebration, but all are good for making you feel more in touch with your emotions, no matter negative or positive)

“Hold out Your Hand”: The Expectant Protest Song

“Deliver your brother from violence and greed

For the mountains, lay down for your faith like a seed

A morning is coming of silver and light

There’ll be color and language and nobody wanting to fight

What a glorious sight!

What a glorious sight!”

“Hold Out Your Hand” was a song used as a call to arms for the March For Our Lives protests in 2019 and is such a powerful song. The lyrics are obviously gloriously flowery in the way only Brandi can do, but the rhythm and background choruses are also strong and emphasize a feeling of togetherness needed for emotional protests like ones against gun violence. 

“Raise Hell”: The Song To Finish Your Battles

“I dug a hole inside my heart

To put you in your grave

At this point it was you or me

And mama didn’t raise no slave”

According to her memoir “Broken Horses,” “Raise Hell” includes references to Brandi’s defiance with one of her managers during her career. You can clearly feel the tension when listening to the song. If you have someone or something you’ve been battling against for a while, a boss you’ve hated for years, or a fling you’ve finally had enough of, this is a song to listen to when you’re finally putting that battle to rest.

“Mainstream Kid”: When You’re Literallt Feeling “Not Like Other Girls”

“I need you to liberate me

You, the masses, educate me

Hold my fist into the air

Declare a social victory

You can own me, you control me

Individuality

Has never stood a chance against you

Jump into the mainstream”

I’m definitely not the best at deciphering poems or second meanings, but I take this song as one of indignance against whatever the “mainstream” is for you. Maybe it’s our current economic system, maybe it’s whatever feminine or masculine ideals society enforces on you, maybe it’s something as small as not wanting to wash your hair in the morning even if it’s definitely beyond the socially acceptable threshold of greasy. If you’re feeling angry at the world, this is (one of) Brandi’s songs for you. 

“Highwoman”: When You Need the Support and Strength Of Previous Generations of women (The Highwomen) 

“I was a freedom rider

When we thought the South had won

Virginia in the spring of ’61

I sat down on the Greyhound that was bound for Mississippi

My mother asked me if that ride was worth my life

And when the shots rang out I never heard the sound

But I am still around

And I’ll take that ride again”

“Highwoman” is a song Brandi wrote with her women’s country group, The Highwomen, and is a callback to a folk classic, “The Highwaymen,” by legends Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, and Kris Kristofferson, with an obviously feminine twist. 

“Highwoman” is a song that references different points in history where women were incredibly brave in the face of danger. Whether it’s a refugee mother escaping Honduras after the conflict between the Sandinistas and the Contras in 1979,  a young woman being tried for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692, a female freedom rider fighting in the civil rights movement in the 1960s (see above), or escaping religious persecution, this song fills you with both a sense of duty and strength to continue positively affecting the world the way so many women before you died trying to do. 

“Redesigning Women”: When You’re Feeling Like Dolly Parton–Feminine and Strong (The Highwomen)

“Redesigning women

Runnin’ the world while we’re cleanin’ up the kitchen

Makin’ bank, shakin’ hands, drivin’ 80

Tryna get home just to feed the baby”

Another song by The Highwomen, but more classic country this time, “Redesigning Women” is a perfect song to mesh the feeling of femininity and power.

“Hiding My Heart”: When Your Heart’s Broken To The Point Of No Return

“I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done

And wake up to your face against the mornin’ sun

But like everything I’ve ever known, you’ll disappear one day

So I’ll spend my whole life hiding’ my heart away

Away, yeah”

This one is a tear-jerker, and is also famously covered by Adele. “Hiding My Heart” is a rough, rough, breakup song. If you’ve lost someone you thought was the one, and you’re in the “I’ll never love anyone again” phase, this is definitely the song to wallow in. 

“Mama Werewolf”: knowing Intergenerational Trauma, And the trials A Mother’s Love

“If my good intentions go running wild

If I cause you pain, my own sweet child

Won’t you promise me you’ll be the one

My silver bullet in the gun

This curse I get

From my father’s kin

They fought the beast

I feel within

We don’t talk about it

And we don’t call it’s name

We just carry on

Hoping it’ll change

Though we know it’ll never change”

I could talk for hours about “Mama Werewolf.” It’s one of the songs off of Brandi’s newest album, and in my opinion is one of the most lyrically beautiful songs ever written. In Brandi’s case, this song is probably referring to problems she and her family have faced with addiction (which she discusses in her memoir). However, this song could be applied to any family. 

I immediately thought of this song when I first saw “Encanto,” which depicted how intergenerational trauma could destroy a family, even when it has all the love and intention in the world to raise a perfect family. “Mama Werewolf” is from the perspective of a new mother, terrified of bringing pain on their child that they experienced in their own youth. Listen to it. 

“Sugartooth”: When You’ve Lost a Loved One To Addiction and/or Depression

“There’s no point now to judge him in vain

If you haven’t been there, you don’t know the pain

He was a liar, but not a fraud

Living proof that there was no God

Just the Devil, stiff as a rod

A slave to a sugartooth”

“Sugartooth” is about a friend of Brandi and her band members who unfortunately committed suicide after a lifelong battle with addiction. It’s honestly painful to listen to, but is written in a way that shines a light on both fighting addiction and depression beautifully.  

“Everytime I Hear That Song”: When You’re Almost, Almost Over Them

“By the way, I forgive you

After all, maybe I should thank you

For giving me what I’ve found

‘Cause without you around

I’ve been doing just fine

Except for any time I hear that song”

If you’ve endured the worst of a break-up, but still feel a twinge of pain every time you see something that reminds you of them, “Everytime I Hear That Song” will help you.

“That Wasn’t Me”: When You’ve Changed, Made Some Mistakes, But That’s Okay

“When you’re lost you will toss every lucky coin you’ll ever trust

And you’ll hide from your god like he never turns his back on us

And you’ll fall all the way to the bottom and land on your own knife

And you’ll learn who you are even if it doesn’t take your life”

A comforting song when thinking about your past, “That Wasn’t Me,” is Brandi Carlile’s way of telling you (and herself) that what matters most is your current self, no matter what faults you may have had in the past. She knows who she is, you do too, and she encourages you to embrace that.  

“Letter To The Past”: When You Need Some Advice From Your Future Self

“You’re a stone wall

In a world full of rubber bands

You’re a pillar of belief

Still fightin’ your shakin’ hands

Folks are gonna lean on you

And leave when the cracks appear

But, darlin’, I’ll be here

I’ll be the last

You’re my letter to the past”

“Letter to The Past” is a song Brandi wrote for her daughters, but as someone who isn’t at the stage of life where I have children to pass advice on to, I listen to this song as if she’s speaking to me. Brandi has a voice and vibe that makes it seem like she’s speaking directly to you—and if you need a reminder to stay grounded, calm down, or take some pressure off yourself, this song is a necessity (no promises you won’t cry though).

“The Joke”: A F*** You To Any Bullies, Misogynists, Homophobes, etc. 

“Let ’em laugh while they can

Let ’em spin, let ’em scatter in the wind

I have been to the movies, I’ve seen how it ends

And the joke’s on them”

“The Joke” is a Grammy-Award-winning ballad that Brandi wrote originally about the sociopolitical environment before the 2016 election. Carlile explained that “there are so many people feeling misrepresented. So many people feel unloved. The song is just for people that feel under-represented, unloved or illegal.” 

“My Song”: The One For A Perfect Angry Crying Session

“Here I am

I’m so young

I know I’ve been bitter

I’ve been jaded

I’m alone

Everyday, I bite my tongue

If you only knew

My mind was full of razors

To cut you like a

Word if only sung

But this is my song”

This early Brandi classic is pretty self-explanatory. We’ve all been to the point where we’re so angry we’re fighting back tears, and “My Song” will help you feel those emotions at their most without being completely overwhelmed. Sometimes you need to get a rant out, as Brandi does here. 

“Most Of All”: When You’ve Lost a Mother or Father Figure

“I haven’t heard my mother’s voice in a while

But her words are always falling out my mouth

My mind and spirit are at odds sometimes

And they fight like the north and the south

But I still care enough to bear the weight

Of the heaviness to which my heart is tethered

She taught me how to be strong and say goodbye

And that love is forever

But most of all

She taught me how to fight

How to move across the line

Between the wrong and the right

And when I’m turned out in the darkness

And the pushing comes to shove

To remember what comes back

When you give away your love”

Another self-explanatory tear-jerker. I included the verse about her mother, but this song also reflects on lessons learned from a father figure. Personally, this is one of my favorite songs of hers.

“What Can I Say”: When You’re Stuck In Your Grief

“Oh, Lord, what can I say?

I’m so sad since you went away

Time, time, ticking on me

Alone is the last place I wanted to be

Lord, what can I say?”

“What Can I Say” is from Brandi’s first album and is bound to get stuck in your head. It’s one of those songs that is catchy and somewhat upbeat, but will destroy you lyrically. I definitely recommend this song for anyone who has lost a loved one, is going through a breakup, or even just is drifting apart from a friend. 

“Dying Day”: When You’re Coming Home To a Person, a Place, or a Feeling

“How these days grow long

But I’m on my way back home

It’s been hard to be away

How I miss you and I just want to kiss you

And I’m gonna love you till my dying day

How these days grow long”

This is another one of my all time favorite songs. Everyone has at least someone they miss and will think of when they listen to this song (I personally think of my dogs) and it perfectly describes the sense of love you can feel for anyone special in your life. Although I can’t list every song of hers in this article, I would also recommend “If There Was No You,” “Looking Out” (which is my favorite song of hers but h and “Closer To You” from her discography if you want a similar subject matter. 

“Downpour”: When You’re Feeling Like an Awful Person

“I’m like the rain in a downpour

I wash away what you long for

And I wave goodbye with the sun in my eyes

I wish I could be there tonight

…

And when you need someone to carry you through

I’m gonna be there for you”

According to her memoir, “Downpour” is about the guilt Brandi felt when she missed her parent’s special anniversary celebration because she was on the road with her band, touring. If you look at the lyrics though, it can really encompass anything you feel guilty about—like saying something you didn’t mean to a friend, leaving your parents at home as you grow into your own person, or making a bad mistake that hurts someone that you really love. That being said, the song finishes with a promise to rectify that mistake, and that’s what’s really important. “Downpour” will make you feel better and more human if you’re stuck in a hole of self-hatred.

“Right On Time”: When You Need Reassurance That Everything Happens For A Reason

Don’t look down, I can feel it when your heart starts pounding

It’s beyond your control, you know it is

It’s getting to the point where I can’t carry on

I never held my breath for quite this long

And I don’t take it back, I did what I had to do

It’s not too late

Either way, I lose you in these silent days

It wasn’t right

But it was right on time

“Right On Time” is nominated for Record of the Year and Pop Record of the Year for the 2022 Grammy’s (so tune in)! It took me a while to figure out what this song was about, as it’s easy to just zone out and listen to her voice without thinking too hard about the lyrics. But, “Right On Time” has a message a lot of people figuring out adult relationships can relate to. Brandi breaks down how decisions about relationships, whether it be taking a break or saying something you regret, may not have been the right decisions, but they happened because something needed to change. Even if you made a grave mistake that you wish you could take back, it happened “right on time,” and it happened for a reason. 

“Turpentine”: When You’re Growing Out Of  A Friendship

I watch you grow away from me in photographs

And memories like spies

And salt betrays my eyes again

I started losing sleep and gaining weight

And wishing I was was ten again

So I could be your friend again

These days we go to waste like wine

That’s turned to turpentine

It’s six AM and I’m all messed up

I didn’t mean to waste your time

So I’ll fall back in line

But I’m warning you we’re growing up

Again, the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory for “Turpentine,” but it’s such a beautiful song that I had to include it. It’s a coming-of-age song about losing a childhood friendship (in Brandi’s case, with her brother). 

This song is also beautiful to hear live (see the video below) and really showcases the talent of Brandi and her band.

The Story: When You’re Finally Feeling Like You’ve Made It

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I’ve been

And how I got to where I am

Oh, but these stories don’t mean anything

When you’ve got no one to tell them to

It’s true, I was made for you

If you were to only know one Brandi Carlile song, it would probably be “The Story”. It’s her most famous work and for good reason.Her voice is showcased in the best way possible (trust me, I’ve seen it live) and the lyrics can resonate with anyone. It’s emotional, heartbreaking, and inspiring, and it also makes you really grateful for the people that helped you through any struggles you’ve had in your life. Even if you don’t relate to her lyrics, her voice is strong enough to make you fall in love with “The Story,” like so many have before you. 

So, there you have it. Brandi’s discography is extensive and a bit overwhelming if you haven’t grown up with her, but I truly believe she uses such a mixture of genres and emotional backgrounds that she has something for everyone. Although she’s won Grammys in the past and is nominated for four in this upcoming awards season, I always get blank faces when I mention her–hopefully, her music will begin to help you as well.

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