I have spent a number of Valentine’s Days alone listening to Taylor Swift, crying my eyes out and buying discount chocolate the next day. And it’s really easy to think “Wow if only I wasn’t single right now, this would be the best day ever!” But if you are a male-attracted human like me, we tend to forget how actually disgusting men can be. So, to get you out of your Valentine’s Day slump, we are going to be exploring 12 icks of men that will make you grateful to be single. Trigger warning: heterosexuality. Read at your own risk.
His porn search history.
First of all, if he is searching for porn on a website like PornHub or RedTube, that’s an ick to begin with. Viewing unethical porn that may have stemmed from human trafficking is not cool. But I swear that his search history is absolutely atrocious and if you got your hands on it, you would physically gag.
He might send streaks.
I have a lovely, thoughtful and adorable boyfriend who I love with all of my heart. But he does one ick that haunts me to this day: he sends streaks. I know, it’s really not that big of a deal. But every time he sends me a selfie with an “S” scribbled across his face, I want to block him.
His for you page.
I can bet you a dollar that if you were to open his Tik Tok, it is full of sports, some sort of video game clips and, of course, other girls. Personally, I really don’t care if my boyfriend looks at pretty girls. If anything, I’m the one to show him pretty people when I stumble across them on Tik Tok. But if you’ve watched “The Social Network,” you know that these algorithms are designed to keep you on the app for as long as possible and if the algorithm is picking up that all that will keep his attention is boobs, ick.
Him getting an itch on his balls while in public and trying to find a way to discreetly scratch them.
I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Him commenting on IG model’s posts.
Imagine this: Sommer Rae posts a new Instagram picture. He does his typical double tap but thinks that today, he’s gonna do something extra. He opens the comment section and says, “I know people are commenting on your body but I just have to say that you have a beautiful smile.” He actually thinks that this act of kindness is going to get Sommer Rae to slide into his DMs. It’s incredibly icky.
Him leaving a bad tip/no tip.
Generally speaking, the way that a guy treats staff at a restaurant is such good insight into how kind they are as a person. And if they decide not to leave a tip, they are a walking red flag.
Wearing sneakers without socks.
Just imagine the stench. Especially if you’re going to work out, it’s so gross.
Watching him bend over and seeing his buttcrack.
This one was brought to you by lucindacross on tik tok.
Locker room talk.
I promise you; he has engaged in some awful, degrading, filthy locker room talk. And by cutting him off, you are removing yourself as a potential talking point for him and the “bros.”
Him slipping and falling in the shower.
Picture this: your object of desire is taking an evening shower. Music is playing, and water is pouring. He probably doesn’t even wash his legs. But then suddenly, he slips and falls on his own two feet. He lay there writhing in pain. Naked and afraid.
He probably at one time wore shorts out during the middle of winter.
I promise that almost every straight guy has had this phase where he thinks he is stronger than mother nature herself and wears shorts out in below-freezing temperatures. Even if it was ten years ago, imagining my partner’s arrogance as he leaves the house in basketball shorts and a t-shirt sends shivers down my spine.
The song he would choose if you said, “name a Taylor Swift song.”
It’s either going to be “Shake It Off” or “Me!” which honestly would be enough to turn me off from relationships for life.
Even if this list did not fully convince you that men are disgusting and that you can count your blessings that you don’t need to be romantically involved with one, I really do hope that you will use this upcoming Valentine’s Day to practice the most important kind of love: self-love. Her Campus actually features an abundance of articles detailing how to practice self-love. Linked below are some articles to get you started.
Self Love After a Toxic Relationship | Her Campus
Self Love Languages are Real and Here’s How to Find Yours | Her Campus