You’ve been dating for years, life without them seems impossible to think about. You’ve been through braces, ugly hair styles, tragedies, you’ve watched each other grow and thought that you would grow old together but eventually something changed. Time should never be the main reason why you stay with someone. Saying “We’ve been together for so long, I have to try and make it work” is an excuse you shouldn’t be making.
Breakups are difficult, especially when you’ve been with that person over a long period of time, but you have to make sure the relationship is what’s best for you. One excuse should not be the reason to put up with the constant fighting and miscommunication… You need to reevaluate.
The main reason why you get into a relationship is because that person made you feel special; they make you happy. It is important that your significant other brings out the best in you and pushes you to do better. They need to support you when you need it and give you advice when you are at a loss. Both parties in the relationship should receive these things as well as feeling loved, respected, and appreciated. If these things aren’t being reciprocated, you need to speak up. We all think that there is a perfect relationship out there but news flash… Every relationship is flawed. This is also okay, getting in disagreements is normal, but if it becomes a habit where you can’t agree this should be a red flag.
When the break up comes, no matter whose idea it was, these are important things to remember when dealing with a long-term breakup.
The time that you spent together was worth it
You helped each other grow and you were there when they needed you to be. You learned how to solve disagreements, and most importantly you learned how to love.
You can still love them and not be in love with them
There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. If the connection isn’t there like it used to be, that doesn’t mean you can’t still love them, its okay to let that person know you always will care for them.
You can still keep in touch with their family
After a couple of years their family feels like your family, its already hard enough having to break it off with significant other, but then you have to say goodbye to their family? The truth is, you really don’t have to do this. It’s okay to stay in contact with their family, they still care for you and want what’s best for both of you.
There WILL be another person
This next person could be the one, or maybe they will be someone who shows you that you don’t like what they have to offer. The next person could also show you that you might not want to be in a relationship. After all, you don’t know what its like to not be with someone since its been a routine since high school.
The hardest part is taking a step towards the unknown. Take your time to work through the heartache, eat the second bowl of ice cream, lay in bed and be lazy. You will be okay, it just takes time.