For years and years I always struggled to keep focus on the task at hand. When I was young I would go to the doctors but obviously with my mom in the room I feel as though I couldn’t express a lot of the concerns I had. As I reached adulthood I realized I could take my mental health into my own hands and seek out the help I needed. My freshman year of college, freshly 18 years old, a “real” adult, I made an appointment for an overall diagnosis. I expressed my concerns about having a difficult time focusing, the doctor only took into consideration my past depression diagnosis and told me, “adult women don’t get diagnosed with ADHD, it’s just anxiety.”
The process to a diagnosis
I took the next few years really dealing with what I thought was depression anxiety, as I was diagnosed with both. The medications were incredibly helpful but I still had a hard time focusing and exhibited many of the ADHD symptoms that include impulsiveness, disorganization, poor time management and planning, and a low frustration tolerance. I went around for years thinking I was an incredibly anxious person. At 20, I went to a new doctor to attempt another diagnosis. Again, I was met with, “you would’ve been diagnosed as a child,” followed up by changing what antidepressants I was on. It occurred to me at this time, as a child I would not have been diagnosed as mental health was still considered very taboo at the time I was growing up and my mom was just one of those people that didn’t really consider seeing any type of mental or cognitive evaluation. I took the new medication with a heavy heart and left. At 21, I finally met with another doctor, who finally listened to my concerns and I was very truthful that yes I might have been diagnosed as a child if only given the chance. It was at this moment I was met with pure bliss when she diagnosed me with having ADHD. I left the office in tears of joy with medication sent to my pharmacy, feeling relief that I may actually feel like myself. With this in hand I could start accepting my entire self.
The medication
I don’t want to say too much on this matter as everyone has different perspectives and thoughts regarding medicating and that is completely valid. For myself, the addition of ADHD in my medication regimen was nothing less than magical, dare I say life changing. I was so shocked and pleased to be able to really sit down and focus on school work and not get so frustrated at minor inconveniences.Â
The after
After some time on the medications I have only positive remarks about the help ADHD medication has given me. Along with medication, the diagnosis has helped me seek out resources. The youtube channel: How to ADHD has been incredibly eye opening and helped me feel okay in being neurodivergent. This diagnosis has given me hope and the understanding that I am not lazy or a slob, but I’m just different and there is nothing wrong with that. After getting help- which in my case was medication, I was opened to a world of change and hope.Â