Learning to Love Myself

Body positivity sometimes feels like a foreign phrase, or it is something completely out of reach. We are constantly targeted by diet ads, and Instagram models that showcase unrealistic body types. I guess I should say unrealistic body types to certain body types. Not everyone is made to have a thigh gap and that is perfectly fine. Yet, for some reason, society makes it seem achievable through workouts targeted to “get a thigh gap in 2 weeks”. 

I have personally struggled with an eating disorder practically my whole life. For as long as I can remember, up until recently, I have hated my body. I was horrified by the number on my jeans and I always bought clothing two sizes larger because I had a completely different view of what my body was actually like. I always wanted to be really thin and completely get rid of my curves because I felt there was nothing I could wear that flattered me. Turns out, I just wasn’t choosing the correct styles. 

Spending so much time hating my body made me miss out on experiences where I could have praised my body. So many summer days I spent “laying out” because I wasn’t ready to show off my body because I was ashamed of what my outward appearance looked like. I began to realize that once I started really cherishing my body for what it was and what it does for me each day, it didn’t matter to me what other people think. 

That was the “lightbulb” moment for me. I was hating my body because I was concerned for what other people thought. Society puts so much emphasis on our external beauty that we forget about the internal. That is when I began journaling. I would write down all the things I did not like about myself, and also what I loved about myself. The dislikes were less than the likes. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders because when I glanced down at the list, all the dislikes were “cosmetic” or appearance based. 

I have made it a challenge now to become the best version of myself. Whether that means working out because I want to feel more energized, or watching The Vampire Diaries and doing some light stretching while also eating some Cheese Whisps. Being kind to yourself is the first step into a happy and healthy life. 

When you speak of your passions and dreams, it is not the dimples or scars on your skin that people see. 

I hope you all have an amazing week and set aside some time for self-care! 

You are loved. HCXO.

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