You can’t ever forget where you came from, and for me, this feels especially true. I’m not going to fool y’all, my mom is my world and who I owe everything to. I guess I’ll make this as simple as possible, I’ll try to narrow it down to my top 5 favorite things about my mom and what she has taught me. I mean I could go into my insane, crazy, broken family, but what would be the point in that? Flowers grow from rain, honey.
Being Strong is a Default, Because of Her
My mom, essentially a single mom of two, has taught me that sometimes in order for things to get better, sometimes they have to get harder first. The quality of work ethic and grind that has been instilled in me since…. forever, is something that would quite literally take a lifetime to achieve. What else could you do that might be more? How could that area be improved, how can you grow from this? She made sure that even if I couldn’t come up with it at the time, I always saw the silver lining. Not another woman I have met in this simple 20 years so far has ever shown me the pure grit that my mother has. How to run your own business even though unbearable circumstances and obstacles taunting her without rest gave me hope for my own future. The ability to save face even through the worst and the hardest of times is a skill I still haven’t quite yet mastered, but I know she’ll get me there. She never seems to get discouraged or give up. There will never ever be a time that she does not find the answer. Sherlock and my mom are no strangers; catch her outside with a magnifying glass, how about that?
Work Hard, Reap the Benefits
I was never allowed to be done with something until it was finished, that was the rule. This included many areas of my life. Even a simple household craft or project was to be completed unless not possible at the time. Having grown up in Pony Club, 4-H and FFA meant that there’s a whole lot of projects going on at one time and you can’t split yourself, but if you want it all, you have to be there for all of it. I think this crucial skill is partially what has gotten me to the point that I am now, graduating with my bachelor’s at the age of twenty. Right now, I am living a life that consists of a full-time college student, running my own business, being an equestrian, I have a boyfriend, I do pretty well in school. I know many people have so much more on their shoulders and that I’m sure my life seems simple to many, and I mean it is, in away. Don’t get me wrong, I am not sharing these things for clout, I am simply sharing the fact that I am where I am today, who I am, and what I am capable of because of my Mom.
Knowing When to Close the Door
But on that same note, she always knew when it was time to quit, to move on from something. She taught me how to see my own fault in choices I’ve made and how to recognize them; how to stop them from happening before it was too late. She taught me how to kick out that part of me that was consuming me in all the wrong ways, and how to fuel myself with passion and hard work instead. The sense of “red-alert” she has for people and their character is astonishing. Someone could walk through our front door and literally within hours of being in their presence she could tell me all that they were about, and that’s on age and experience. But what can I say? I don’t think there was ever a time that she passed judgment and was wrong. However, on that same token, she is not a judgmental person; appearances and popularity mean nothing to her. This is so much so that she basically hates social media and is convinced the number of likes won’t mean anything those of us glued to Instagram in ten years. I’m starting to come around.
Her energy radiates in every part of her life. Handwriting is something you don’t normally think of as being very important, but no one can read my mom’s handwriting cause it’s so wild, yet perfect, half cursive, half unreadable, completely beautiful. Her voice on the phone, the pure evidence of her presence in your life is sure to make it a better place. Her absolutely pure spirit is what makes up for so much bad and negativity in this world, it’s like she’s high off of happiness every day and sometimes, I really don’t know how she does it. In a small town, word travels fast and reputations are basically everything. Who you associate yourself with, the kinds of secrets you keep and what you do in your spare time usually seems like something that might be considered private time. You’d be surprised in a town that small how fast everyone knows everything. She is the sweetest, goddess angel that will also find a way to ruin your life indefinitely if you mess with her (or her kids, yikes). Her turn on our business a few years back is what saved us all, and clients come in and recognize a friendly face with knowledge and Integrity to back it up. She is your everyday girl-boss badass woman that I am privileged to share DNA with.
Love is Loyalty
The last thing that I absolutely must share is how she inadvertently made me love her more than any other human I have ever cared for. Yes, I know I’m sure things might shift as I grow older and start my own family, but right now, she’s it. There has never been a time in existence that my mom has ever had a single person show her one shred of loyalty; and if I am the last one left, I’ll make damn sure she never has to feel that way again. Members of my more extended family have some really serious mental health issues, and recently an encounter between my mom and grandma made me realize the full circle of the way my mom brought me up. I can see so clearly now, at the end of the tunnel. Now that I am finally a bit older and worldlier, I can see that even with a horrible, abusive childhood filled with those around her having a serious mental health crisis, it didn’t matter. She took the fire that burned her deep and used the coal to light a new flame, a bigger one that warmed her kids through their entire being, and if I grow up to be half the woman my mom is, I might just be okay.
Love Always,
Bay.
HCXO